Are We Just Going To Pretend Elon Musk Didn’t Get Flight Attendant Nude Massage Tips From Jefferey Epstein Or What?

May 23, 2022

Elon Musk flat out sucks at being a human being.

I know he’s a cult hero because everything he does seems ‘anti-establishment,’ and ya’ll think he’s an outsider who’s shaking up the cabal of the world’s elites. I know Crypto bros and conspiracy dicks love him because they believe he’s their lazy great white hope.

Like most people and things that seem too good to be true, Elon checks that box, and he’s now becoming a cautionary tale of incel intention gone wrong/right.

After news of Elon offering to buy a SpaceX flight attendant a horse in exchange for a blow job surfaced along with a $250k hush money payment, he went on a legal tirade. Friday, Elon canvassed Twitter for THE BEST lawyers to join his team of ‘legal assassins (as one with an unlimited supply of funds does)

If I had 280 billion, I’d splash out on a retainer for actual lawyers instead of begging for legal help on Twitter, but that’s just me.

I wouldn’t telegraph the creation of an internal army of ‘hardcore streetfighters.’

I definitely wouldn’t say it was to defend myself against unfair litigation with the caveat that ‘there will be blood.’

I’d hire a law firm. His issue? There isn’t a REPUTABLE law firm on the planet willing to defend a Jeffery Epstein disciple.

See, Elon has never cared about money. It becomes a scorecard instead of a bank account when you have that much money. Warren Buffet, Bill Gates, and Jeff Bezos all say the same thing. Money to someone with hundreds of billions means to access and influence to be selfish, philanthropic, or both.

Elon probably wanted to be filthy fucking rich when he and Peter Thiel started trading blow jobs for PayPal coding as 20-year-old tech virgins, but Elon wanted something else. Access to the elite’s ‘way of life. To be someone he was told he never would be. A wealthy, culture-defining playboy whose billions would lead to having flight attendants jerk him on on a plane and threesomes with movie stars who shit in Johnny Depp’s bed.

Flying to MARS and revolutionizing space travel and the EV industry was a step ladder for Elon’s shitty self-image that he used to climb out of his incel past and onto a platform where his Ego was. He’s serially treated women (including his wives) like speedbumps and possessions on his way to the next thing. His first wife, Justine, is a brilliant journalist who Elon told on their wedding night he was the only person that mattered in his relationship and showed her.

NYPOST: Elon Musk told his first wife as they danced at their wedding that he was “the alpha in this relationship,” according to a 2010 essay that has attracted renewed interest since it was learned that the Tesla boss paid $250,000 in hush money to settle sex misconduct claims.

Justine Musk wrote about her 2008 divorce from Musk in a piece for Marie Claire that was titled “I Was a Starter Wife.”

In the essay, the Canadian author, who is mother to five of Musk’s children, wrote that she became the tech mogul’s “trophy wife.”

During their first dance at the wedding reception, Justine Musk wrote that her husband whispered to her: “I am the alpha in this relationship.”

“I shrugged it off, just as I would later shrug off signing the postnuptial agreement, but as time went on, I learned that he was serious,” Justine Musk wrote.

He’s paid off DOZENS of women and employees. He’s threatened the lives of whistleblowers and tried to avoid Twitter’s background check for board members by spending $44 billion.

Elon had left a greasy, racist, capitalist, perverted trail of bodies behind in his attempt to ascend to that elite culture of private jet rubdowns, swatting employees and smiting his enemies to breathe that rare air back when Elon was a 20-year-old coding wiener.

Everything he’s ever done was to be who he is. A man who doesn’t have to observe the rules of decency as long as he’s not the same loser he thought he was growing up.

He is, and now he has 280 billion and controlling interest in 2 of the world’s most valuable businesses. Hence, he can prolong human accountability for a while, but his time is coming.

His public effort to be more than he has led to Tesla stockholders losing 1/2 of their money in the last six months, threatening to sell 80% of his stock.

SpaceX employees started quietly selling their stock at $125 billion dollar valuations a week ago, and Twitter? Fuck, who cares. He can’t afford it and won’t buy it, but now you know why he wanted it.

To bury stories and protect whatever might be left of his reputation as a genius/culture icon.


Musk’s entire issue is him. His Ego, to be more precise. What YOU think of him is more important to him than what you think about his accomplishments. He doesn’t care that he’s revolutionizing space travel and the automotive industry. He cares about what that means for him and his place in a world that values guys like him.

What we want others to think we are is more important to people like Elon, who has no value set or moral compass. Elon’s status as a tech genius who could do no wrong has never been more in question because his let’s his ego respond. He thinks more highly of himself than you do, but in a dark moment, he knows he’s an abusive nerd with terrible intentions based on a lifetime of feeling like the loser he is on the inside.

It leads to humiliation and devastating loss 100% of the time, and you’re seeing that now.

Little masturbating virgin Elon and Captain of industry Elon are two different people. Little masturbating Elon is in charge because Captain of industry Elon isn’t real and never will be.

It’s called duplicity, and it gets every asshole every time because being two people is unsustainable. You’re seeing it play out for Elon in real-time, and I’m here for it.

And let’s stop pretending Jefferey Epstein didn’t mentor him. At least one flight attendant with a visual of Elon’s dick would agree.

Private Jet nude massages by employees aren’t THAT common.







Dean Blundell

Dean Blundell is a Canadian radio personality. Best known as a longtime morning host on CFNY-FM (The Edge) in Toronto, Ontario. In 2015 he was named the new morning host on sports radio station CJCL (Sportsnet 590 The Fan). Dean started his career in radio in 2001 and for nearly 20 years been entertaining the radio audience. Dean’s newest venture is the launch of his site and podcast which is gaining tremendous momentum across North America.

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