News
Awesomeness
Viral
Politics
Rant
Getting Laced
Media
Canada
Sabres
National Security

As Canada Considers Revoking Elon Musk’s Citizenship, Here’s a List of my Top 5 Deportation Targets!

Feb 24, 2025

As Canada considers revoking Elon Musk’s citizenship for allegedly being a threat to national security, one can’t help but wonder: Why stop there? Canada has plenty of homegrown embarrassments who have made it their life’s mission to either ruin the country’s reputation or sell us out to the highest bidder (usually, some greasy American with an oversized ego and a bad fake tan).

So, in the spirit of making Canada a less embarrassing, less sell-out-ridden place, let’s make a totally serious and not-at-all sarcastic case for stripping citizenship from some of our most notorious national disgraces.

5. Drake: Canada’s Most Embarrassing Export

Ah, Aubrey Graham. The self-proclaimed “6 God” who has been embarrassing Canada on the world stage for years—one cringeworthy moment at a time.

  • The Music: Once a promising rapper, Drake has since descended into the world of bubblegum rap and moody Instagram captions set to music, somehow making the genre of hip-hop less cool.
  • The Reputation Collapse: Losing a rap battle to Kendrick Lamar is one thing. Having your entire life and career obliterated in real-time while the world watches? That’s a new level of humiliation.
  • The Scandals: Rumors of underage “friendships”, dick-pic leak disasters, and a relentless public obsession with teenage girls have made it clear: Drake isn’t Canada’s sweetheart—he’s Canada’s creepy uncle who needs to be sent to America immediately.
  • The Crimes Against Hip-Hop: The man lost an entire country in a rap battle. We should revoke his passport just out of respect for hip-hop culture.

🚨 Verdict: Canada, let’s pack this man’s bags and ship him to the U.S., where he can collaborate with DJ Akademiks on a podcast about their mutual L’s.

4. Brian Lilley: Canada’s Number One Political Homewrecker

If you don’t know Brian Lilley, consider yourself lucky. He’s the political “reporter” (read: Conservative Party operative) who discovered the fast track to career success—by abandoning his family and shacking up with Ontario Premier Doug Ford’s communications secretary, Ivana Yelich.

  • The Propaganda Machine: Lilley’s entire career revolves around parroting pro-Trump talking points while somehow blaming Canada for Trump’s open threats of annexation.
  • The American Fanboy Complex: This man will defend Donald Trump and Pierre Poilievre’s worst takes, but the second a Canadian politician breathes the wrong way, he’s calling for their resignation.
  • The Obsession With Destroying Canada: At this point, Lilley’s entire personality is “Why isn’t Canada more like Florida?” Well, Brian, maybe you should just move to Florida and marry Ron DeSantis instead of using Doug Ford as your sugar daddy.

🚨 Verdict: We’ll let Brian keep his citizenship, but only if he can go one day without licking America’s boots on Twitter. (So yeah, he’s out.)

3. Kevin O’Leary: The Shark Who Couldn’t Swim

Kevin O’Leary wants Trump to take over Canada. Not metaphorically—he’s literally begging for it.

  • Trump’s Biggest Canadian Fanboy: While Musk is being investigated for his ties to Trump, O’Leary is actively campaigning to turn Canada into a Trump-controlled wasteland.
  • The Boat Incident: This is a man who couldn’t safely navigate a boat across Lake Joseph without someone dying, but sure, let’s take his political advice.
  • The Wealth Delusion: Despite branding himself as some business genius, O’Leary failed at running for Conservative leader, bombed multiple business ventures, and is only relevant because Americans think he’s the cheap knockoff version of Mark Cuban.

🚨 Verdict: Kevin, America wants you. Take your wife, your vodka, and your terrible business advice, and go be Trump’s economic adviser. We’ll all be better off – and Ontario boaters will thank you.

2. Pierre Poilievre: Canada’s First MAGA Prime Minister (Maybe)

Canada’s would-be Prime Minister hates Canada so much that you’d think he was running for office in Florida.

  • The Never-Ending Grievance Tour: Poilievre has spent his entire career whining about Canada while simultaneously demanding to lead it.
  • Refuses National Security Checks: Why? Maybe it’s because he’s too busy buddying up to Elon Musk and MAGA influencers.
  • No Accomplishments, Ever: This man has done nothing except complain and make cringe-worthy sunglasses selfies while begging for attention from the same convoy dickheads who held Ottawa hostage.

🚨 Verdict: Pierre wants Canada to be Texas so badly maybe we should send him there instead.

1. Every Fake Trucker From the Convoy

Remember when the “Freedom Convoy” called themselves patriots for blocking Ottawa for three weeks, harassing citizens, and honking like idiots? Now, those same people are suddenly waving American flags and begging for Canada to become the 51st state.

  • The Irony: First, they were “saving Canada from tyranny.” Now, they want Trump to annex the country. Pick a struggle.
  • The Real Heroes?: The truckers who actually kept working while these clowns were busy crying about vaccines and calling themselves martyrs.
  • The Betrayal: Four years of screaming about loving Canada, only to flip-flop the second America gives them attention? These people are the political equivalent of a bad ex who trashes you to your worst enemy after a breakup.

🚨 Verdict: If you’re more loyal to Trump than to Canada, we’re revoking your citizenship and sending you to Florida—where you can drive your 18-wheelers in circles around Mar-a-Lago.

Deportation List Complete?

While we’re on the topic of revoking Elon Musk’s Canadian citizenship, maybe it’s time to clean house and get rid of some of our other most embarrassing sellouts, failures, and bootlickers.

  • Drake can take his L’s and settle in Atlanta.
  • Brian Lilley can go live in Florida with his ideological soulmates.
  • Kevin O’Leary can enjoy his vodka in Texas with Trump.
  • Pierre Poilievre can go cry about free speech on Elon Musk’s jet.
  • And every convoy clown can finally live their dream of being full-time bootlickers in the U.S.

Canada deserves better. Let’s start the fucken paperwork BAHDS. 🇨🇦🚀

Dean Blundell

Dean Blundell is a Canadian radio personality. Best known as a longtime morning host on CFNY-FM (The Edge) in Toronto, Ontario. In 2015 he was named the new morning host on sports radio station CJCL (Sportsnet 590 The Fan). Dean started his career in radio in 2001 and for nearly 20 years been entertaining the radio audience. Dean’s newest venture is the launch of his site and podcast which is gaining tremendous momentum across North America.

Subscribe Now!

Which newsletters would you like to receive?

Yes! By providing my email address, I agree to receive communications from Crier Media (this can be changed at any time). Please take a look at the Privacy Policy and Terms of Use for more details.

This field is for validation purposes and should be left unchanged.

Related stories