Can we talk about nose hair extensions for a second??

Nov 18, 2022

I found out “Nose Hair Extensions” were a thing this week. What the fuck are we doing?

Full disclosure.

I’m VERY anti-nose hair.

From a young age, I knew: People with nose hair don’t care about anything other than themselves.

I’m disgusted by it.

All of it. The hair, The boogers attached to the hair. What it says about the person with that nose hair. It all disgusts me.

I think you don’t care about others if you have wads of unsightly Vince Vaughn nose hair.

I don’t know how anyone looks in the mirror after brushing their teeth or combing their hair and misses this shit.

The more nose hair you have, the more bats get caught in that cave, making it harder to breathe and impossible to get laid.

Nose hair disgusts me so much that I wouldn’t be able to finish the deal with freshly single Giselle Bundchen if she came with unsightly nose hair.

I’d struggle if Emily Ratjakowski showed up with braided nostrils too.

My ex struggled with this – It certainly didn’t help.

Depending on age, you must add noses and ears to your daily routine. Ladies, I can tell you it’s a deal breaker for 100% of men.

You could be a 10/10 brain surgeon/Yoga teacher. Nose hair? Nose thankyou.

Men get away with it because women are better than men, but your girl hates your nose hair too, fella.

I mean, you can see your nose hair.

Amazon is FULL of snazzy nose hair trimmers. You can grab one at Winner for 9.99. Tweezers are 99 cents FFS.

The eye-watering pain of pulling a nose cable is counterbalanced by people not being disgusted by you when you show up to dinner with a Fu Manchu that starts in your nose. And your girl MIGHT be able to look at you for more than .4 seconds.

People with nose hair should be mocked. Publicly. And they should use that embarrassment as fuel to be better people who trim their nose hair so the rest of us can eat lunch in peace.

It’s a nice thing to do for others. We can’t stop staring in disgust; no one trusts someone with bushels of the stuff. It’s a nasal car accident that distracts people into wondering, “did that person not see that pine tree coming out of their nostrils?” It’s not possible to listen attentively to a person sporting a bunch of nose hair.

You might be a riveting storyteller, but no one listens to your story if you have hair coming out of your nostrils. They stare and wonder if you have a fucking mirror.





Dean Blundell

Dean Blundell is a Canadian radio personality. Best known as a longtime morning host on CFNY-FM (The Edge) in Toronto, Ontario. In 2015 he was named the new morning host on sports radio station CJCL (Sportsnet 590 The Fan). Dean started his career in radio in 2001 and for nearly 20 years been entertaining the radio audience. Dean’s newest venture is the launch of his site and podcast which is gaining tremendous momentum across North America.

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