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So…guess who technically isn’t allowed into 38 countries anymore? Yup. America’s orange embarrassment, Donald J. Trump. Turns out, when you’re a convicted felon — even just a little bit felon — the world suddenly becomes a lot smaller. And fun fact: Canada’s on that list.

Under Canadian law, convicted criminals don’t just waltz over the border for a poutine and photo-op. Nope. Canada takes this stuff seriously — if you’ve been convicted of a felony, you’re “criminally inadmissible.” That means you can be turned around at the airport faster than Trump at a Juneteenth celebration.

And here’s where it gets chef’s kiss funny — the G7 is coming to Canada this summer. Which means if Trump wants to show up and play dictator cosplay with the other leaders, he technically can’t. Because — again — he’s a felon now.

What Could Canada Do?

Canada has a few options here. They could:
✅ Laugh, tell him to kick rocks, and remind him we don’t let felons in.
✅ Force him to apply for a Temporary Resident Permit (TRP), which is hilarious on its own because it involves paperwork, waiting, and admitting you’re a criminal.
✅ Issue a one-time ministerial hall pass (but where’s the fun in that?).

Under immigration law, Trump would have to prove he’s not a threat (LOL), pay a fat fee, and beg nicely. Imagine Trump’s dumb face trying to fill out a Canadian form admitting he’s a criminal. Legendary.

What Happens If He Just Shows Up?

If he tries to pull the “Do you know who I am?” card at Pearson Airport — well, yeah, we know who you are, bud. You’re a convicted felon, adjudicated rapist trying to annex our fucking country. Border Services could literally tell him to turn his plane around or stick him in a holding cell next to some dude busted for smuggling weed gummies.

Imagine the headline: “Former U.S. President Deported from Canada Mid-G7.”
Try keeping a straight face picturing that.

How Does a Felon Like Trump Get In?

Oh, he can apply. He can pay thousands, beg, plead, and try to convince Canada he’s “rehabilitated.” But given the daily crime sprees, this guy’s still pulling off In America and his bullshit threats to our sovereignty on Truth Social, good luck with that.

Anyway, it’s all technically up in the air — but yes, real conversations are happening about how Canada handles a G7 where one of the “world leaders” is literally not allowed in because he’s a 34-time convicted criminal and adjudicated rapist.

And honestly? That’s the funniest goddamn thing I’ve ever typed.

Get ready for a summer of “TRUMP DENIED ENTRY” memes, folks. It’s gonna be glorious.