The tragic irony of watching Conservatives eat themselves alive isn’t exactly entertainment, but it’s pretty fucking funny.

In the latest display of desperation, Nate Erskine-Smith has become the target of a ridiculous and baseless accusation by none other than the Canadian Party of Conservatives’ hypocrisy whisperer, Jenni Byrne. The claim? That Erskine-Smith allegedly “sexually assaulted” Conservative MP Melissa Lantsman in what everyone else can see was a benign interaction.

• CPC Deputy leader Melissa Lantsman crashed an event at Nate’s office, endorsing Liberal Leadership hopeful Mark Carney, whose presence is crushing the hopes of a conservative Majority.
• Melissa made several defamatory accusations about Nate being a “Radical Drug Use Supporter,” suggesting his support of Carney meant Carney was being supported by a degenerate who wanted to flood the streets with drugs. Nate has only ever advocated for the decriminalization of drugs because it’s the smart thing to do, according to every study by every addiction/health care expert everywhere.
• Nate went out to her fake press conference to invite her in for a drink and call her a liar (he crashed her crashing of his party).
• They shook hands, smiled, and exchanged a ‘half hug.”
• He leaned into to mock her a little more and put his hand on her shoulder in a collegial way, embarrassing the fuck out of Melissa, relegating her fake presser to the stunt it was.
• Conservative women (MPs, proxies, staffers), along with Conservative Party-owned Post Media outlets, turn the exchange into sexual assault.

So, @beynate just became a legend… pic.twitter.com/TLXi5jQSEJ

— Dean Blundell🇨🇦 (@ItsDeanBlundell) January 25, 2025

The only assault here is the assault on intelligence—and it’s self-inflicted by the CPC.

Nate Erskine-Smith, one of the more respected voices in Canadian politics, had a moment of innocuous interaction with Melissa Lantsman. That’s it. But leave it to Byrne and the CPC’s band of merry defamers to spin an innocent moment into the crime of the century.

Facts, context, and common sense have no place when you lose 20 pts in a week, your leader is being accused of substance abuse, and your party is prepping to find out how many members (including your leader) might be working for foreign governments against Canadian interests.

The Gaslighting Olympics

This isn’t the first time Conservatives have deployed faux outrage and performative feminism to attack their opponents. It’s become their “we’re out of ideas” playbook, executed with all the grace of a three-legged horse in a steeplechase. The party of “free speech warriors” and “anti-woke champions” suddenly dons the armor of righteous indignation when it suits their agenda. Hypocrisy, thy name is CPC.

(They made sure to screenshot the worst possible out-of-context pic for effect)

Take Conservative Senior Advisor/Poilievre’s chief meat puppet Jenni Byrne’s latest pearl-clutching performance as Exhibit A.

Her sudden concern for “protecting women” reeks of opportunism. This is the same crowd that dismisses actual systemic issues affecting women and marginalized groups—but when they see a chance to brand an opponent as a sexual predator, they’re all in. It’s not feminism; it’s gaslighting, weaponized to distract from their sinking ship of a political platform.

Kudos to Lantsman for not filing sexual assault charges AND having fun with it on social media, even though she tried to sell this whole thing as a solemn press conference.

Losing Big to Mark Carney: The Real Story

Why the desperation, you ask? Because the numbers don’t lie. Recent polls suggest that Mark Carney is eating their lunch, dinner, and midnight snack. With his steady hand and clear vision, Carney’s growing popularity is leaving the CPC scrambling for any tactic—no matter how dirty or deceitful—to stay relevant. The latest internal polling has Conservatives losing 9-20 polling points THIS WEEK LONE with the possibility of a Trudeauleass Liberal party, and they are shitting their pants.

So the gap is now under 4 pts. The data have been rock stable with a clear decline in CPC lead which is moving this from a 25 pt lead a few weeks ago . Quite astonishing . We are sampling about 250 cases each night .

— Frank Graves (@VoiceOfFranky) January 24, 2025

And then there’s the elephant in the room: the foreign interference report set to drop on January 28. It’s going to be a bad look for a party already up to its neck in accusations of cozying up to foreign influence with a damning report on how many traitors are in their party due this week.

Commissioner Marie-Josée Hogue will release the Final Report of the Foreign Interference Commission on Tuesday January 28, 2025. https://t.co/zvNejZd5oQ pic.twitter.com/k7pHy7de09

— Foreign Interference Commission (@PIFIEPIE) January 21, 2025

Add to that the increasing public distaste for their policy vacuum and anti-progressive stances, and you’ve got a party running out of cards to play, so sexual assault/groping it is!

The “Sexual Allegations” Strategy: A CPC Classic

What’s left when you can’t win on policy, ideas, or integrity? CPC’s answer is, “Accuse them of sexual assault, pedophelia, grooming!.” Smearing opponents with baseless accusations has become their go-to move. It’s predictable, it’s pathetic, and it’s not working. Canadians are more intelligent than the CPC gives them credit for—they can see through this bullshit charade.

The Conservative Party of Canada and their friends at Post Media are cooking up a campaign around alleging @beynate sexually assaulted @MelissaLantsman here.

And I can’t stop laughing.

If they win, you’ll be governed by the radical woke right. LOLZ. https://t.co/PYrRbtFQH3

— Dean Blundell🇨🇦 (@ItsDeanBlundell) January 26, 2025

This is not just a bad-faith attack on Nate Erskine-Smith; it’s a slap in the face to actual survivors of sexual assault. By trivializing these issues for political gain, the CPC undermines the credibility of actual claims and insults the intelligence of voters. It’s a desperate hail Mary from a party that knows it’s losing and losing big.

Final Thoughts

So, here we are. The CPC, staring down the barrel of irrelevance, decides to double down on baseless accusations and weaponize fake feminism. It’s not just a bad look—it’s a total failure of leadership, ethics, and respect for Canadians. It’s an insult to the intelligence of any sexual assault survivor or Canadian with an IQ above a Kaiser Bun.

January 28 is coming, and with it, a reckoning. Whether it’s the foreign interference report, the steady rise of Mark Carney, Poileivre’s alleged substance issues, one-track sloganeering, gaslighting, or insulting the intelligence of 40 million Canadians, one thing is clear: the CPC’s smear campaigns and gaslighting tactics aren’t going to save them.

Canadians deserve better than a party so desperate and out of touch that it’s willing to stoop to these levels. And judging by the latest polls, they’re about to get it in the political bunghole.