Dear China,

It’s been quite some time since you’ve given me a disease.  I was beginning to think you did not care for me anymore.

I  know you said you’re busy developing new technology, but I’m not stupid.  I know you’re putting your money inside other countries, building infrastructure – IN OTHER COUNTRIES!

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=os1pJcdEwIg

But I get it.  You’re a rock-star China.  One of the biggest and baddest in the world.  I also know that I’m America’s groupie, but I thought things might develop between us and we’d share more goods and services 😉

NOT MORE DISEASES!

I’m starting to have regrets.  Don’t get me wrong, I love going out for Dim Sum, but this relationship is starting to feel one-sided.

I let you have my wood pulp, I’ve given you my iron ore, AND you’ve taken my Canola seeds.  All you’ve given me in return is the Avian Flu and SARS!

Even worse is the residual SARS concert that I ended up with because of you.

Look, I appreciate the electronics, nuclear reactors, and toys that you send, sure, fine.

The plastics?  I mean, they just end up in our oceans anyway so what’s the point?

It just doesn’t seem to be worth all of the viruses.  You’ve given me more diseases than Tommy Lee’s given to Pamela Anderson.

Now you’ve got this new Coronavirus that is inevitably going to end up infecting me, regardless of how many surgical masks I wear.

I just don’t get why things have to be this way between us.

If you want to continue this relationship I need you to change.  I need you to clean up your act, and by “act” I mean your sewage-filled rivers in the Southern region of your body of land.

You might also want to ease up on the illegal wildlife trade.  I know you’re into it but that’s a sure-fire way of contracting some of this crap you keep giving me.  Also, it’s a selfish and disgusting habit.

I’m hopeful that you’ll take everything I’ve said into consideration not just for me, not even for us.  But for you China.  You ought to desire more for yourself.  You ought to strive to be better and demand more OF yourself.

Sincerely,

Canada