Dean: After One Of The Worst Games Of His NFL Career, Tom Brady Announces Divorce From Super Model Gisele Bundchen. Poor Guy.
He and Gisele are officially DONE. Sort of like his career. Both were legendary and ended on the same day.
12 hours ago, he lost to the Ravens in Tampa (3rd loss in a row) he penned this heartfelt divorce announcement.
October 2022 has been rough for Tom.
I bet Gisele writes a better chapter than Tom.
She’s still Gisele, and he’s no longer Tom Brady. Gisele’s stock rises as Tommy falls, but Tom will get him in too.
He spent a few days with ex-Brigit Moynahan, so maybe he’ll get back together with the Irobot star and finally be a parent to their son.
Or maybe he runs a train for the next few years after being set free from the archaic bondage of a legally binding marriage.
The old saying, “You show me a hot chick, and I’ll show you a guy who’s sick of her shit.” works both ways, and it sounds like Gisele was sick of Tom Terrific’s shit too.
That’s how it works with Marriage because it’s a useless institution. But everything ends at some point, and some things last too long.
A Human’s internal partner clock lasts about seven years. Tom and Gisele made it to 13, but anyone who’s happily divorced will tell you the misery sets in around year seven, and you’re looking for doors for the next few until the anxiety forces you to rent an Air B&B or a townhouse to get some fucking sleep.
The average length of a marriage (in Canada) today is 12-15 years, which applies to 40% of all marriages (50% in the US). of those remaining marriages, 80% said they strongly considered divorce because Marriage sucks.
Specifically, managing someone else’s expectations around things they can’t control but want to (you) sucks the worst.
Tom expected to play football until he was ready to leave. Gisele wanted him to retire two years ago, and Tom didn’t. Gisele thinks that means she’s not interested in her or their kids, and Tom doesn’t see it like that.
Did he dick around on Gisele? I don’t know.
Did she dick around on Tom? No clue.
But the revenge IG posts they’ll both be posting for the next 6-12 months will be AWESOME. That’s what matters.
And the kids. Good luck to the kids or something.
DB
Dean Blundell
Dean Blundell is a Canadian radio personality. Best known as a longtime morning host on CFNY-FM (The Edge) in Toronto, Ontario. In 2015 he was named the new morning host on sports radio station CJCL (Sportsnet 590 The Fan). Dean started his career in radio in 2001 and for nearly 20 years been entertaining the radio audience. Dean’s newest venture is the launch of his site and podcast which is gaining tremendous momentum across North America.
