Dear America, 

There is a conservative tribalism taking place in Canada in the form of support for American republicanism.  The problem is that Canadian conservatives and American Republicans are very different tribes.  Canadian identification with republicans is undoubtedly caused by your wide-spread American media influence in our country.  While Canadians are grateful for US sports broadcasts, HBO, and other networks with outstanding TV series/sitcoms, (and unfortunately for many-reality shows), we could probably do without hearing about your relentlessly corrupt politics.   

The fact of the matter is that you constantly,  

• Lie to your citizens.  I.e. Going into Afghanistan under the pretence of liberating women and children, as well as hunting Osama bin Laden, when you really wanted an oil deal that the Taliban gave to Argentina instead of you because once in a country you never leave.  This is not news.  Look it up.  There was a pipeline to be built from Turkmenistan through Afghanistan to Pakistan.  Haliburton lost the bid to build it.  If Haliburton sounds familiar think Dick Cheney. 

• Brainwash your society with the Kool-Aid that is patriotism (land of the free?  More like you imprison more of your people than any other country in the world).

• Participate in the most amoral practices which negatively affect your civilian population.  I.e.  once in Afghanistan, you increased opium exports back to the US, then locked up Americans for drug addictions/trafficking so that you could fill massive private penitentiaries.  The private prison system is big business south of the border.  Once a multi-million-dollar penitentiary is erected you have to fill it with prisoners or else it’s useless.  If it’s useless, then some rich asshole loses a $100,000,000.00 investment.  

Kindly cease your influence on our conservative Canadians.  I will do my part to show them that they are different than you.

Sincerely,

Jason “Gonzo” Gonsalves 

It baffles me every time I hear Canadian conservatives proclaim support for American republicanism.  The two are very different on policy.  For instance,   

• I doubt any Canadian conservatives want to give up their free health care.  Conservatives believe in social welfare programs but want them to be fiscally responsible.  Socialism is still an inherent part of Canadian ideology.  Republicans are completely against a single-payer system and have only come to recognize a federal health care plan because it was put in place (by a Democrat) and they can’t take it away now.  

• Conservatives, unless they are informed by some bigoted religious dogma, are in favour of same-sex marriage.  Republicans (who are heavily controlled by the Christian Right) are completely against it.  

• Republicans default to pro-life automatically.  Conservatives default to pro-choice automatically.  Again this is a religious issue, and it is ok to believe what you believe, but at least Canadians understand that religious beliefs are personal and do not belong in the public sphere.

• Unless they are racists, Conservatives are generally in favour of multiculturalism.  While racism appears to hide more prevalently within the Conservative party than the Liberal party, there are likely still racists in the Liberal party.  Like the type that will have their minority friends over for dinner but don’t want their kids getting married.  Multiculturalism is a core Canadian value whether you vote red or blue.   

The Conservative party in Canada for quite some time had the word PROGRESSIVE before Conservative in its name.  While in the US, the republican party has been hijacked by the Christian Right/Evangelicals, and neo-Nazis.  Let’s stop conflating the two.  We are Canadian, which means we are better.  Let’s not degrade ourselves to fit something that we are not.  Please keep your conservatism Canadian.

Regards,

Jason “Gonzo” Gonsalves