Source:   A man is facing charges after police say he tried to steal crab legs from a grocery store in Susquehanna Township by stuffing them down his pants.

Officers were dispatched at 2:46 p.m. on Jan. 11 to a grocery store in the 3800 block of Union Deposit Road for a reported retail theft.

Arsenio Humphrey, 29, was taken into custody after he was found putting crab legs down the front of his pants and leaving the store without paying for them, according to police.

Police also discovered that Humphrey left a 3-year-old child unattended in a vehicle the in the parking lot while he was in the store. Police said the vehicle was running and not locked while the child was inside.

The child was released to a relative, and Dauphin County Children and Youth was made aware of the incident.

Humphrey, who is charged with retail theft and endangering the welfare of a child, was arraigned on his charges and released.

Crab Legs are delicious.

You know they are.  Steamed crab legs dipped in hot garlic butter makes people do crazy shit too, like ‘abandon a car full of your kids and stuff several pounds of jagged seafood down your pants’ crazy.

You’ll never fix a problem by creating another problem, people.

There’s an old analogy about a man who tries to fix his headache by hitting himself in the head with a bottle. Now he has two problems: A headache and a bump on his head.

Dude chose to feed his family by stealing and left his kids alone to do it.  Exactly.

If he’s homeless and feeding his family, by chance, I feel sorry for him.  Not super sorry because he could have gone to a food bank, but I always feel poorly  for people who are desperately trying to feed their kids if indeed this is the case

The problem is two-fold:

1)I bet they don’t have fresh crab legs at the food bank.

2) We have no idea if this guy is a career criminal or just made a bad decision shoving crab legs down the front of his pants when he abandoned his kids and there’s nothing else to it.