If you guessed ‘yes’, this is YOUR day!

A Miami criminal trial was delayed briefly Friday when the accused man defecated and “cast feces” inside the courtroom before closing arguments were set to begin in his burglary trial, officials said.

The excrement from Dorleans Philidor, 33, was aimed at but did not reach Miami-Dade Circuit Judge Lisa Walsh. Lawyers fled as county police officers and corrections officers swarmed the courtroom. “It’s protein! It’s good for you!” he yelled, according to witnesses.

The incident happened during the routine morning court calendar. No jurors were on hand yet.

Philidor was sitting in a wheelchair near Judge Walsh, who scrambled away as her bailiff yelled for her to run. He also ate some of the feces, witnesses said.

Fuck, yeah.  That’s how you get a serious ‘not guilty by reason of insanity’ ruling.  Take a dump on the floor and throw it at the judge then snack on it.

I marvel at the human Pez dispenser ability too.  I can’t poop on command.  If I could I would because there’s nothing on this planet that’s more enjoyable than an outstanding BM.  Being able to do it any old time I want to sounds orgasmic to me so I’m jealously fascinated by my man “Dorleans” to the point where I had to share this story with you.

I used to work with a woman (Adjwoah the traffic Goddess) who could fart on command but only if she drank tea. It was incredible.  I’ve never met anyone who could fart on command.  I know she couldn’t poop on command because she didn’t take a number two for a whole month once.  If she could have, she would have.  Trust her.

I love the line ‘Lawyers fled…”  No shit they fled.  You give ’em 500 bucks an hour they’ll stand there for a full day but this was FREE shit, and they don’t do free.   They will, however, blow you at the bus station for $750 an hour so taking some shit in the face is a big ‘You Betcha’.