Everyone has a bad week. Last week was mine. We’re on to Cincinnati, or Week 12 in this case. After back-to-back mediocre weeks, some may lose their shit and start picking wildly. That’s not me. I’m not going to pick the Browns because they seem to have success upsetting teams. I’m not going to fall for the Bills because Matt Barkley had a big Week 11. And I’m not going to pick against the Eagles even though they were embarrassed by New Orleans. You don’t let a couple of off weeks fuck your mind up. Let’s get it.

Takeaways

The Eagles are dogshit

There’s no easy way to say it. On paper Carson Wentz isn’t actually having a bad season. He’s thrown for 2,300 yards. He’s completed almost 70% of his throws. And he’s thrown 15 touchdowns to just six interceptions. But even with the addition of Golden Tate, which I really thought would put Philadelphia back on track, the Eagles are 24th in offence. Now after that 48-7 shit kicking this past weekend, Philadelphia can kiss their shot at repeating goodbye. You’re officially a one-hit wonder.

Who are the Atlanta Falcons?

Seriously. Do you suck or not? Please make up your mind. You’re ninth in points for. You’re sixth in yards. And yet, you’re 4-6. Don’t get me wrong. They’re defence is garbage. So I understand when they lose to the Saints and Steelers. But the fucking Browns and Cowboys? Come on man. Those are games you should be winning.

I want a Chiefs vs. Rams or Saints Super Bowl

For all that is good and holy, PLEASE let us have a Chiefs vs. Rams or Saints Super Bowl. We all knew these were the three best teams in football. But after what we saw the Saints do to the Eagles, and what we saw on Monday Night, I think we all want to see that matchup. My god. That would set records.

Don’s Picks: Week 12

Current Record: 96-63-2

Bears vs. Lions
Redskins vs. Cowboys
Falcons vs. Saints
Browns vs. Bengals
49ers vs. Buccaneers 
Jaguars vs. Bills
Raiders vs. Ravens
Seahawks vs. Panthers
Patriots vs. Jets
Giants vs. Eagles
Cardinals vs. Chargers
Dolphins vs. Colts
Steelers vs. Broncos
Packers vs. Vikings
Titans vs. Texans

Games to Watch

Falcons vs. Saints

The Saints have a mediocre defence. The Falcons have a shitty one. And they both have a lot of offence. There will be points. And it will be glorious. Both of these quarterbacks are studs. Matt Ryan has completed 71% of his throws for 3,300 yards with 22 touchdowns and just four interceptions. While Drew Brees has completed 77% of his throws for 2,900 yards with 25 touchdowns and just one interception. Let it rain touchdowns. Amen.

Seahawks vs. Panthers

Two solid football teams. Two teams looking to prove a point. The Seahawks are trying to crawl back into contender-ship. While the Panthers are simply trying to hold on. This game could go either way. Especially considering the Panthers lost to the damn Lions this past week. I think that loss to the Lions will wake them up this week, and the fact that they’re at home will help as well.

Steelers vs. Broncos

The Broncos are weird. They’re dogshit, but they aren’t complete dogshit (true poetry and analysis right there). They have the defence to keep their offence in the game. It really depends on which Case Keenum shows up. If Case can be the field general they need, then this will be a great game. But if we get the Case Keenum we’ve seen for the majority of the season, then we’ll see a shit show for the Steelers.

Think I’m full of S@#%

Prove it

Send me your picks, your thoughts, or whatever nonsense floats around inside that head of yours and tag me in it: @dschram34. Or go to the “Submit your shit” page of the website, and give us your thoughts on this weeks matchups. If it’s legitimate, I promise you Dean will post it.

See you in the comments section