Trying to accomplish a minor feat can be a steady climb when you have been day drinking. Now picture yourself trying to shake off the cops while double fisting tall cans of Busch, operating a 10-year-old lawnmower as your getaway choice.

Source: RCMP arrested a man in western P.E.I. Tuesday after receiving a tip from the public that he was driving erratically on a lawn mower. RCMP say an officer found a 72-year-old man driving on a dirt road in Alberton, noticed signs of impairment, and arrested him. The man faces charges of failing to provide a breath sample. He is scheduled to appear in court in June. “We don’t want to see anybody getting hurt, the driver and including any public that might be in the area. Obviously, we need to take into account public safety,” said RCMP Sgt. Neil Logan about the incident.

When Millard sent me this story today I immediately started to chuckle to myself. I take you back to last fall, one night after Friday night hockey, my buddies and I packed a car and were on our way home at 2 am. Sure enough, just as you would expect, we get to a four-way stop and there’s this dude in a safety vest and his underwear, flying around his front lawn, cutting his grass. Beer in hand and just having himself a time. It was magical.

So, we did what we felt was the only option and we turned around and went back for a conversation. We had to see what this ‘Steve’ was all about. Got about 11 words out of him and couldn’t understand any of them. He slept well, his neighbours, I assume not so much.

Don’t cut your grass at 2 am, and don’t ride your John Deere six pints deep down main street. But if you do, make sure you get tased, it’s caught on tape, and no one else gets hurt.

Thanks, Steve. Everyone else, don’t be a Steve.