Elon Musk Launched A Hostile Takeover Bid For Twitter After His Orgy Fetish Surfaced, Bothering Board Members
Elon Musk failed the Twitter board member background check because he loves to pretend to be Zorro at orgies, So he’s just gonna buy the company. Cool.
— Dean Blundell🇨🇦 (@ItsDeanBlundell) April 14, 2022
Vice: On Thursday morning the world’s richest man and most notorious shitposter filed an offer letter with the Securities and Exchange Commission offering to buy 100 percent of Twitter for $54.20 per share in an all-cash deal worth $43 billion.
The filing contains a letter Musk sent to Twitter’s Board of Directors, Bret Taylor, in which he says, “I now realize the company will neither thrive nor serve this societal imperative in its current form. Twitter needs to be transformed as a private company.”
He added, “Twitter has extraordinary potential. I will unlock it.”
Musk warns that if his offer is not accepted he will have to “reconsider my position as shareholder.” He currently owns 9.2 percent of the company.
The filing contains a transcript of a voice message Musk sent to someone at the company, outlining his reasoning for making such a bold move.
“As I indicated this weekend, I believe that the company should be private to go through the changes that need to be made,” Musk wrote. “After the past several days of thinking this over, I have decided I want to acquire the company and take it private.”
The message then asks: “Are you available to chat?”
So, this is HUGE for a couple of reasons
- This is a legitimate hostile takeover bid and Twitter is absolutely in play to be taken private
-
This is an emotional bid. Twitter denied Elon a board seat last week after Twitter ran a board member background check – Elon’s into some weird shit.
-
Elon is framing his takeover bid as a fight for free speech so he’ll marshall huge support from the Crytpo bro community.
-
Elon has spent the past few years blocking and suing people who speak freely about him and his business ethics so it’s really not about free speech at all.
-
Elon Musk is the only person in the world who makes a $43 billion dollar spite purchase and that should worry everyone on Twitter.
That’s all he is. A raging genius with the inability to control his emotions (he says it’s Asperger’s fault), and he just launched a ragey takeover bid for Twitter because he’s pissed off that he can’t post pictures of Hitler on the daily.
The amazing thing about Elon? He probably would make Twitter a better and more profitable platform but at what cost…
According to Musks’ letter, he plans on buying Twitter for $43 billion to privatize it unleashing Twitter’s ‘real potential.’ What he really means is “FUCK YOU GUYS FOR DENYING MORE BOARD SEAT” after news magically surfaced this week that he was denied entry into a few German shizer orgies and may have a few greasy skeletons in his closet.
Shocker.
The Twitter board is meeting as we speak to discuss the offer and we might be living in a world where Elon Musk decides what free speech and democracy look like because he has 300 billion in the bank and you don’t.
His plan? To fire literally everyone who works there because he doesn’t have ‘confidence in management’. LOL.
If it happens, expect Donald Trump’s diaper to have its own Twitter feed and for Elon to use it as a battering Ram. This isn’t business to Elon. It’s personal and he has the emotional problem-solving comprehension of a rock.
Should be fun.
DB
Dean Blundell
Dean Blundell is a Canadian radio personality. Best known as a longtime morning host on CFNY-FM (The Edge) in Toronto, Ontario. In 2015 he was named the new morning host on sports radio station CJCL (Sportsnet 590 The Fan). Dean started his career in radio in 2001 and for nearly 20 years been entertaining the radio audience. Dean’s newest venture is the launch of his site and podcast which is gaining tremendous momentum across North America.
