Fellas. Stop Shooting Your Shot With Your (Someone Else’s) Bank Statement

Apr 12, 2022

Because this shit happens…

OOOOHHH.  Tough break, bro.

A female friend told me about this a while ago and I totally didn’t believe her.  I still kinda don’t because she lies about everything else, but she may be right about the ‘Bank Statement Bros”.

This pic could be from anywhere and I’m guessing the statement isn’t from his investment portfolio. Guys who invest don’t send their statements to random chicks when they’re looking to get laid.  They might send a screengrab of someone else’s but there’s no way a serious investor with $1.5 mil sends that information to some chick he exchanged numbers with at a bar.  Unless he’s a total fucking douchebag whose dad gifted him a Fidelity portfolio with 1.5 million in it.

That might be what we have here.  A fuckboi with a rich dad.  The male equivalent of a puck bunny, but in reverse.

These are the guys who popped their collars in the 7th grade while walking to school in fresh Nike’s and a perfectly packed lunch after getting out of their mom’s landrover.  Now they cry after they beat off into a robe they stole from their hot aunt because they keep striking out with the bank statement text bit.

Fellas.  Just say hi and ask her out for coffee.  Get to know her, THEN hit her with the back statement by leaving it out on the kitchen table when you go to the bathroom.

Less douchy, better result.

You’re welcome.




Dean Blundell

Dean Blundell is a Canadian radio personality. Best known as a longtime morning host on CFNY-FM (The Edge) in Toronto, Ontario. In 2015 he was named the new morning host on sports radio station CJCL (Sportsnet 590 The Fan). Dean started his career in radio in 2001 and for nearly 20 years been entertaining the radio audience. Dean’s newest venture is the launch of his site and podcast which is gaining tremendous momentum across North America.

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