Revolt: A man from the United Kingdom claims that his extraordinarily large package isn’t what it seems.

According to multiple reports on Tuesday (Oct. 25), Joe, who chose not to enclose his last name, appeared on a British Channel 4 documentary, “My Massive C**k,” where he revealed that his life is in shambles because of his huge penis.

“It’s about nine and a half [inches] now. The scaling is off, quite off. It’s thicker than my forearm. It’s about seven [inches] around,” Joe said. He admits that he has to wear special underwear with an added pouch to prevent his penis from “falling out” and to “fit everything in.”

Due to a lack of social acceptance and the loss of a job opportunity, the 22-year-old said he is considering getting a reduction surgery on his large genitalia. “The response I got was, ‘You’re not going to get the job, we thought you were a good candidate, but we thought there was inappropriate behavior happening,’” Joe revealed. “They thought I had an erection throughout this whole interview, and they were very much like, ‘Your attire wasn’t right.’ They clearly meant, ‘We can see your d**k.’”

The documentary also follows a couple, Bonnie and Tommy, looking to spice up their sex life with a threesome with Andy, an adult performer. “It’s ten and a half inches, from the base to the tip,” Andy said about his manhood, adding: “Size really matters in my line of work.” By becoming an adult performer, he’s managed to use his large penis to has earned over 25,000 followers on his social media accounts.

Here’s something I’ve never said out loud or privately:

“They thought I had an erection throughout this whole interview.”

What a burden.

And a loser. As someone who’s never been questioned about stuffing an Old English cucumber into my pants at a job interview, I wouldn’t be pissed if someone accused me of it. I’d wink and say, “next question.”

Some men complain about having a penis that’s “too big.”

Who knew?

Whenever I see a story about a dude complaining about having a penis that’s too big, I think the same thing: He’s shamelessly advertising through a victim statement, thus, increasing his sexpertunities. In my mind, the dude in the Big Dick Doc is trolling every woman in England with the dubious task of being with a man with a tiny one.

Jonah Falcon whines about his 14-incher once a year.

Jonah is widely known to have the biggest one on the planet, and every year, the NY post writes a piece about how much Jonah ‘suffers’ from having to be a stick man for HUNDREDS of men and women over the years.

Jonah then goes on an Olympic fuck spree (some paid) for 12 months until the next “look at this sad man with the world’s biggest dinger” story comes out.

It’s free Tinder/Grinder on roids and seems unfair.

Got a big one? Play it up. Pivot. Like this guy.

You’re Welcome.

DB