He’s not here to defend himself but a newly discovered 1943 CIA document by Harvard Professor Dr. Henry Murray confirms Adolf Hitler had a little wee pee-pee, one nut, liked to be kicked and play poop games during his sexual escapades.  Oh, and he had sex with his niece a lot.

Source: The troubled boy developed a twisted fascination with “brute strength, physical force, ruthless domination, and military conquest”.

His sick desires also manifested themselves in his personal life, with him embarking on abusive relationships with women, who he loved to humilate, according to Dr Murray.

Former sexual partners of the Nazi told Dr Murray that Hitler was incapable of consumating their relationships in a normal way.

The report claims Hitler had a micro-penis and just one testicle – he also had some bizarre sexual fantasies.

Dr Murray wrote that Hitler liked women to defecate on him and enjoyed being kicked when he had sex.

Even his own family weren’t safe from Hitler’s perversions, according to Dr Murray, who claims he had sex with his own niece.

Hitler’s bones were said to be ground up by Russian forces and spread at sea with his other Nazi Party officials who also committed suicide that day so unfortunately, we don’t know for sure that Hitler had Micro Penis but it makes sense.

Guys with little hammers are ALWAYS mad.  They’re mad because their brains are consumed with the knowledge they were born with a minuscule penis and it’s always top of mind.  Sort of like really obese people, it lives with you every waking moment of your small penised life like a 1000 pound rusty anchor tied to your brain.

Not that anything we hear about Hitler 75 years later will change how we look at the worst person to ever walk this planet but there’s nothing like finding out that he had a clinically small dick, enjoyed a little incest, and violent poop-filled sex.

You just hate to see it.