I do one of these yearly and always say this is the last time I’ll do this.

Whatever. I quit drinking six years ago this summer and was reminded of why when I was sent my new super cheesy headshots.

I posted this picture because if one person sees it and thinks they can change their lives/be happy, job-done. Personally, I couldn’t believe the difference and see this awesomeness daily. The outside is a reflection of the inside. Sometimes you need a good before and after shot to remind you about where you were to appreciate where you are.

The guy on the right was MISERABLE.

I never take anyone’s inventory, but there are ZERO health/mental health benefits when it comes to abusing any substance. Learn to like yourself and you’ll learn to love your life instead of not participating in it. 👊

— Dean Blundell🇨🇦 (@ItsDeanBlundell) June 26, 2023

Unhappy people do things readily available to them to be happy. It’s called “self-medicating.” My medication was booze. Yours might be something else. It doesn’t matter what it is; what matters is that it’s never too late.

Six years ago, the idea of being happy seemed too far. It was easier to gut it out in medical ignorance, knowing five vodka sodas would fix it. Vodka worked for a while. So did Rum, Rye, Wine, Bourbon, etc. Beer never worked because I couldn’t drink it fast enough to get as drunk as I liked in the allotted time I needed to escape from myself. If it changed my objective reality, I’d drink it. I was responsible and had a great radio gig that paid me A LOT of money, great kids, but I was fucking miserable. So I drank. I drank to forget, calm my poisoned brain, deal with domestic issues, and deal with a hard day, a happy day, and any day. Daytime is when you’re awake and miserable; creating an unreasonable alternative reality is the most important when carrying around a miserable anvil.

I quit drinking six years ago for me. Because I needed to figure out who and what I was. I needed to give up to win because I didn’t know what it would take to live a happy life.

I ran into therapy, group, etc.

I changed my friend group.

I didn’t date for five years (you can’t be a great partner when you’re unhappy and I wasn’t bringing another miserable person into my life).

I surrounded myself with people who had answers and told them I didn’t have any.

I lived out of myself and crushed my Ego (it’s still there, but it’s on a chain)

I stopped pretending I was OK and got busy investing in being better at life.

AA. Psychotherapy. Philosophy. Cognitive behavior practice and therapy and my wellness came down to one thing: All of it. All the things angry people at Trans book reading protests/Tesla CEOs take ketamine for…

Aaaaahhhhh. NOW it makes sense. pic.twitter.com/EoeMq13cxq

— Dean Blundell🇨🇦 (@ItsDeanBlundell) June 27, 2023

I did everything professionals and people who had been where I was told me to do, and it worked. It still does.

I was so tired of being tired, miserable, and angry that I gave up and ran into an Idea: If I invested in understanding addiction and emotional and mental health with people qualified to help me, I’d have a shot. A chance to be the capable, happy, loving person I knew I wanted to be.

Today, I know I’m not an alcoholic. I allowed my sense of entitlement to discourage me from ever doing complicated things like being accountable for my mistakes or putting others first by seeing things from their perspective. I had a “me” problem. I assumed life was a free-for-all. A smash and grab. It’s not. It’s a 1 in 400 quadrillion chance to experience the beauty, love, and pride of dealing with complicated things that make us bulletproof in navigating a harsh existence.

I don’t want to be numb to love or pain. I want all of it now. A real-life experience. One where love matters as much as grief because they make us feel, uniquely, the feelings that separate us from every living thing. I’m no longer afraid of what’s around any corner, and I embrace beautiful experiences like the negative ones because that’s what we were created to do. Get better through our life experiences.

I look back, and I’m grateful today. I’d never want to live the last six years again, but I’m sooooo fucking thankful for all of them. How I look matters way less than how I feel. I’m happy. I have everything I’ve ever wanted, and I’m happy.  I look like a goddamned poster boy for “Our Time,” but that’s a byproduct of not self-medicating and giving a shit about my mind. The rest takes care of itself.

It’s never too late. Do happiness for you. Give up and ask for help. That’s real courage, no matter how old or far gone you think you are.

DB

PS: Hi to all the mature smoke who hit up my DM’s yesterday. You’re welcome, people looking for free old guy stock photos.