I’m Exhausted. I’ve Learned It’s Okay To Admit It

Nov 22, 2022

Have you ever looked in the mirror and thought, “fuck, I look old.” Add in fat, and you’re privy to the conversations I have with me every day.

I don’t just look fat and old, and I feel that way too. Since 2017 I’ve been burning the candle at both ends. A social worker by day digital content creator by night. The guy who can’t say no. The guy who can’t get burnt out. Guess what? Life punched me in the face, and it fucking hurt.

I finally hit a wall. In May, I was promoted to Director of Communications and Marketing at my “real” job. It was a dream come true. After working my ass off working two jobs for five years, I was finally doing what I always wanted to do. I get to be creative every day, create content, focus on brand building, AND THEY’RE PAYING MY GUARANTEED MONEY! Anybody who slugs away in digital content knows how huge that is.

That also led to more demands on my time and more stress. It all came to a head a few weeks ago. It was a terrible week, and I was coming off a conference full of late hard nights and even earlier mornings. I went live on air shit-faced.

I was supposed to be alone, and Producer Mike joined out of the blue to save me from myself. When I rewatched the show the next day, I was embarrassed. A friend watched and reached out to me, asking if I was okay. I’m not a drinker, so the fact that I was by myself downing a bottle of Captain Morgan Private Stock sent alarm bells off to many people. It freaked me the fuck out too.

I haven’t touched booze since that night, but it made me pause and think. Why did I have a sudden behaviour change? I was fucking exhausted! I didn’t know how to deal with that, so I got fucking loaded and decided to live stream. I’m not going to call it my rock bottom, but it was enough to scare me. Was I going down a path that was going to ruin my life? Was I allowing my emotional intelligence to be broken because of exhaustion?

I’m sharing this because I’m sure I’m not the only one burning out. In a world that’s only getting busier, it’s okay to admit you’re burning out. I’ve stepped down from some of the commitments in my life, and I feel like a thousand pounds have been taken off my shoulders. The mind and body need rest, and it’s time to rest.

Contributing Writers

Related stories