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Let’s Play “How Much Cocaine Did Don Jr Just Do”!!

Feb 20, 2021
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The Answer? All of it.


I don’t even know if he knew where he was when he was recording this video. He probably intended to sound like he was sticking up for Ted Cruz and his lightning-quick vacation to Mexico while Texans froze to death, but he ended up sounding like he just lit up some booger sugar. Some white. Columbian Bam Bam. Snow. Coke. Chop. Blow. You know, the good stuff.
His lips and jaw are loose and he sounds like someone told him to talk like he’s going to the electric chair. He can’t stop blinking, his pupils are dilated aaaaand it sure looks like he’s fucked out of his mind on coke, at the very LEAST.

If I had to guess, according to my system of measurement (lines high), I’d put Donny Jr at 7/10 lines high. He makes zero sense, contradicts himself like he’s a crazy street person arguing with one of his undiagnosed personalities (no offense to anyone with any mental illness, ever).

It’s no Brazillian cocaine party table, but it’s a lot of coke for a dude who’s 5’8.


When Don Jr loses control of his jaw he’s blitzed. That’s when you know he’s at least 5 out of 10 lines high. Any more than 5 lines and we could be watching a stroke in real-time during one of these rants.  DO you know how huge that would be if he coded and died during a RUMBLE video about his dad?

It’s not like if he OD’s we’re going to lose a luminary or a political genius. It’ll be the death of an entitled coke head who never worked a day in his life. That’s why I look forward to every Don Jr Selfie video because I know he’s going to be a ragged mess and now that I’ve gamed his addiction, documenting his impending overdose will be a blast.

Cheers!

Dean

 

Dean Blundell

Dean Blundell is a Canadian radio personality. Best known as a longtime morning host on CFNY-FM (The Edge) in Toronto, Ontario. In 2015 he was named the new morning host on sports radio station CJCL (Sportsnet 590 The Fan). Dean started his career in radio in 2001 and for nearly 20 years been entertaining the radio audience. Dean’s newest venture is the launch of his site and podcast which is gaining tremendous momentum across North America.

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