While I’m a huge Blue Jays fan, I like to stay up to date on the rest of baseball as well. So on a night last week where the Jays weren’t playing, I decided to watch the Philadelphia Phillies, who were hosting the Arizona Diamondbacks. The primary reason I was tuned in (aside from having Phillies moneyline) was because the home team was wearing some of the nicest jerseys you’ll ever see. We’re talking 1985 throwbacks, where the burgundy somehow goes so well on the powder blue threads. The game gets to the 6th inning, when all of a sudden a relief pitcher with what felt like an angelic glow surrounding him trots out from the bullpen to the pitcher’s mound. I thought my eyes were playing tricks on me. Is this a real player or a figment of my imagination? What looked like the lovechild of Bubbles from Trailer Park Boys and the lead singer of Led Zeppelin was about to pitch in a Major League Baseball game, and I just had to find out who this guy was.

Upon realizing what I’m witnessing I point to the TV like the meme of Leo in Once Upon a Time and say to my buddy “Holy shit. Look at this guy. Who the hell is he?.”

Who is this player exactly? Probably someone you’ve never heard of, but once you do you’ll never forget him.

Feast your eyes on J.D. Hammer:

John Dale Hammer is a 6’3″ right-hander from Fort Collins, Colorado. He was drafted by his hometown team, the Colorado Rockies, as a 24th round pick in 2016, and was traded to the Phillies a year later. The guy tore it up the minor leagues and made his Major League debut in 2019. He didn’t pitch last year because he was with the Phillies’ Triple-A affiliate who didn’t play a season, but J.D. Hammer is back in the big leagues and is ready to wreak havoc.

https://twitter.com/BrodesMedia/status/1431063716230045697

Just look how epic this guy looks in the Phillies throwbacks. J.D. Hammer has become one of my new favourite pitchers because he feels like a player you’d create in MLB The Show. He’s got some of the best flow I’ve ever seen outside of an ice rink, but what’s just as great as the hair are his glasses. In a time where visually-impaired athletes tend to go with contacts, Hammer went the complete opposite and pitches wearing the biggest glasses you’ve ever seen. Hearing him explain when he realized he needed specs is hilarious, and probably what allowed him to be good enough to make the big leagues.

Aside from looking like a modern-day Hanson brother, J.D. Hammer is just such an awesome name. You really couldn’t put together a sicker ballplayer. This kid’s a real-life Ricky “Wild Thing” Vaughn from the movie Major League.

https://twitter.com/BrodesMedia/status/1430348254496108546

And the best part about J.D. Hammer is that on top of all of his unintentional swagger, he’s actually pretty a pretty good pitcher. Since being called up from the LeHigh Valley Iron Pigs, an honorable mention in my Friday Five of coolest Minor League teams, he’s got a 1.65 ERA with 17 strikeouts in 16.1 innings with a WICKED fastball. While he’s mostly pitched in low-leverage situations as a young arm, the kid’s gonna keep getting opportunities to prove himself, and I hope he can keep it up. A guy named J.D. Hammer being a good relief pitcher is something that baseball needs, or at least I do.

You might not watch the Philadelphia Phillies much, or even care about baseball aside from the Blue Jays, but just keep in mind that there’s a pitcher out there who has incredible hair, wears Steve Urkel glasses on the mound, and goes by the name J.D. Hammer. He might just be your new favourite relief pitcher.