Hello, Fife Park in Fife Scotland.  What fabulous trees you must have there.  they grow monster sex toys complete with veins and balls that fall off the trees in this time of year!

According to the dog owner, this isn’t the first time he’s happened upon these types of tree branches in this horny park

Source: “Alfie came back with what looked like a stick but it soon became apparent it was clearly something quite different.“It was the length of the dog and I admit I was shocked. I left it where the dog dropped it.“This all happened close to the craft center and allotment area in the park and it seems that others have come across similar items too.“

Why are the biggest ones always black?  Unless that’s the natural color of the rubber, I get it but the monster jobs are always black.

And how do you lose or forget something like this?  I forget my car keys and sunglasses from time to time.  I forgot to brush my teeth the other day and sometimes (but not often) I’ll forget to put deodorant on or take out the garbage.  I would remember to pick this up after using it in a park.  Every time.

Pro-tip for Alfie’s owner:

Don’t let the dog lick your face for a few months.  Or let him, if you’re into that kinda thing.  I’m just thinking that the kind of people who use a 16-inch dildo in the park bushes at night probably don’t ‘warsh’ a lot.

In my research for this hard-hitting post, I realized dogs find these sticks in people’s houses all the time.  There’s an entire YouTube video mixtape of Dogs finding Dildo’s.

Who knew?