This edition of the Friday Five is a tribute to what all men want but only few have: great facial hair. Throughout baseball history there have been countless players who have adorned beautiful beards and meticulous mustaches, from Hall of Famers Reggie Jackson and Jeff Bagwell to guys like Danny Espinosa and Dustin Hermanson, whose facial hair deserves some sort of recognition as a part of baseball lore. My favourite of all-time is Rollie Fingers, one of the best relief pitchers ever who rocked an incredible twirly stache. Absolutely iconic stuff from Rollie.

Facial hair is super important to some ballplayers. Former San Francisco Giants closer Brian Wilson was offered a million bucks to shave his beast of a beard, and he declined. Some guys are superstitious with it, which might explain what the hell was going on with Mike Fiers in 2019. Some guys are just known for their facial hair, sometimes even more so than their on-field performance.

I count down the all-time Blue Jays with the best facial hair in this week’s Friday Five, and it was a trip going through all of the beards and ‘staches throughout the history of this franchise. There aren’t really any current Blue Jays that have great facial hair, except for Jordan Romano who doesn’t seem to realize that Ontario barbershops have opened back up. I found some pretty good ones over the years though, but I’ll leave it up to you to decide whether they should actually be considered good or just wild. Maybe a bit of both in some cases.

5. Reed Johnson

When I first thought of this segment, one of the players that I initially thought of off the top of my head was Reed Johnson. One of the first Jays I remember watching, Johnson always had something going on under his lower lip. I spent a considerable amount of time scanning the web for photos of Reed Johnson’s facial hair, but I feel like there were very few that did it justice. He started out his Blue Jays career with a small soulpatch in 2003, and it seemingly only grew from there.

What I liked about Reed Johnson’s big goatee he had mostly near the end of his Blue Jays tenure, and throughout the rest of his career with other teams, is it didn’t feel like his facial hair suited the type of player he was. A ballplayer with a beard like that makes me think he hits tanks, strikes out a lot, and isn’t very fast, but Johnson was the opposite. He was a quick outfielder who only averaged 8 home runs a season, and he didn’t strike out a lot. Looking at Reed Johnson’s Baseball Reference makes me wonder what he really did that allowed him to sustain a 13-year big league career, but at the very least I know he had great facial hair the whole time.

4. Dave Stieb

There have been many Blue Jays over the years who have had great classic mustaches, and so out of fairness to other players with great facial hair throughout franchise history I selected only one to be represented on this list. But it wasn’t easy. Rance Mulliniks, who’s already appeared on the Friday Five for other reasons, was considered. So was Doyle Alexander. But of all of the candidates I thought that Dave Stieb was the one that belonged on this list because he’s an all-time Jays great who rocked his mustache throughout his entire 15-year career in Toronto.

I couldn’t find a single picture of Stieb without a mustache as a Blue Jay, and why would there be? He rocked it. My dad says he had the Tom Selleck look goin’ with his ‘stache, and I just think it’s a classic ballplayer piece of facial hair. I feel like Stieb’s career is often overlooked, as he was one of the best pitchers in franchise history. I’d say his mustache only adds to his case.

3. Sal Fasano

Do you remember Sal Fasano’s storied Blue Jays career? Probably not. The catcher played 16 games as a Blue Jay in 2007, ending his tenure with one home run and a .178 batting average. However, the guy spent 11 years in the Majors, and wound up being a coach in the Blue Jays organization from 2010 to 2016.

While I don’t remember him well as an on-field contributor for this team, Fasano had a legendary ‘stache. If you were to create a journeyman backup catcher in a video game, he’d be named Sal Fasano and have this exact facial hair. Just a great look for a guy who would play every now and then and had a ton of baseball wisdom hidden in those handlebars.

2. Jose Bautista

Joey Bats never had any crazy facial hair, but it doesn’t have to be crazy to be great. Bautista was a pretty unremarkable ballplayer before he joined the Blue Jays in 2008, and it was around that time he realized that a nice beard is what he’d need to catapult himself into becoming a star.

José is one of the best players to ever play for this franchise, and while he will always be remembered for hitting 54 bombs in 2010, the bat flip, and humiliating the Texas Rangers, he will also be forever known for having a great beard. And that’s something you just can’t teach.

1. Eric Thames

As much as I thought Joey Bats deserved the top spot on this list of best facial hair in Blue Jays history, I then remembered Eric Thames. While Thames only played a season and a half with the Jays before being moved to Seattle and ultimately jettisoning to Korea, where he became a larger-than-life superstar, he rocked a TON of different styles of facial hair during his time in Toronto.

Thames’ range is what earned him the title of the greatest all-time Blue Jays facial hair. Just look at all of the ways he swagged out in throughout his 141 games with Toronto.

Thames is always a guy that fans fondly remember what he could have been, especially after becoming an MVP in Korea and then returning to the MLB to hit nukes for the Milwaukee Brewers in his first season back. But Thames never disappointed us with his crazy, great facial hair.