The 2024 Stanley Cup Final has been a rollercoaster of emotions for Edmonton Oilers fans, culminating in disappointments that have left the city reeling in their homebrew and conspiracy theories. The Oilers, led by superstar Connor McDavid, were expected to put up a fierce fight against the Florida Panthers. However, the first three games of the series have painted a shit picture, with the Oilers failing to secure a single win and now facing a 3-0 deficit.

Game 1: It’s Hard To Win When The Other Team Has A Goalie
The series kicked off on June 9, with the Oilers hosting the Panthers. Despite the home-ice advantage, the Oilers were shut out, losing 3-0. The Panthers’ defense, bolstered by the stellar performance of goaltender Sergei Bobrovsky, proved impenetrable. The Oilers’ offense, led by McDavid and Leon Draisaitl, struggled to find their rhythm, setting a worrying tone for the series.

Game 2: A Glimmer of Hope Turns To A Pile of Shit
In Game 2, the Oilers hoped to bounce back but were again outplayed. The Panthers secured a 4-1 victory, with Evan Rodrigues scoring two goals and Bobrovsky continuing his dominant form with 18 saves. The Oilers’ power-play woes were evident, as they failed to convert any of their opportunities, going 0 for 4 in the game and 0 for 7 in the series up to that point.

Game 3: The Oilers Got PUMPED
Game 3 saw the series move to Edmonton, where the Oilers desperately needed a win to stay in contention. Despite a valiant effort, the Oilers fell short, losing 4-3. The Panthers scored three second-period goals, with Aleksander Barkov netting the game-winner and adding an assist. Bobrovsky made 32 saves, cementing his status as a Conn Smythe Fave. The Oilers managed to mount a late comeback, but it was too little.

The Panthers’ Parade Should Take a Grand Total of 15 Minutes.
As the Panthers inch closer to clinching the Stanley Cup, the prospect of a victory parade in Florida looms. However, the enthusiasm for hockey in Florida pales compared to the fervor in traditional hockey markets. The parade is expected to be a modest affair, spanning just two blocks, reflecting the relatively ZERO local interest in the sport. Just another reason Edmonton deserved better.

Edmonton Deserved Better
The Oilers’ collapse in the Stanley Cup Final is a bitter pill to swallow for the dedicated fans in Edmonton. The city, with its rich hockey history and loyal supporters, deserved a better outcome. The team’s inability to capitalize on their opportunities and the stellar performance of the Panthers’ key players have left the Oilers on the brink of elimination.

The McDavid-Marner Trade Rumors Are Getting LOUDER!
In the wake of the Oilers’ disappointing performance, speculation about potential offseason moves has intensified. One of the most intriguing rumors involves a trade between the Oilers and the Toronto Maple Leafs, potentially sending Connor McDavid to Toronto in exchange for Mitch Marner. Marner, who has faced criticism for his playoff performances and perceived need for special treatment, could find a new home in Edmonton, where some believe he might fit in with the local mindset.

Nylander to Marner: Stop fucking crying bro, this isn’t fucking junior hockey”

Very easy to read his lips lmao https://t.co/enYF2XHrkY

— 𝕯𝖒𝖔 (@JetsPope) April 28, 2024

Adding fuel to the fire, Maple Leafs head coach Sheldon Keefe made headlines with his candid remarks about Marner. Some have interpreted Keefe’s comments as an acknowledgment of Marner’s struggles and the need for a change of scenery. This has only heightened speculation about a potential trade involving the star forward.

So let’s cut the shit, Oiler/Leaf fans. You take Marner and all that whining, and we get McJesus. The Oilers move to Houston/Atlanta or Hartford, and we get what Connor wants: to win a cup with his favorite team.

Whether a blockbuster trade involving Connor McDavid and Mitch Marner materializes remains to be seen. Still, one thing is clear: the good people of Edmonton deserved a better outcome, and the future of their beloved team hangs in the balance.