Hands up if you’ve heard the bunk rumor about NHL vet Corey Perry being put on waivers by the Chicago Blackhawks because he “had sex with a fellow player’s mom.”

So there were two narratives around WHY celebrated NHL vet Corey Perry disappeared from the Chicago Blackhawks roster.

1. He slept with Connor Bedard’s Mom
2. Substance issues

Pierre’ LeBrun, one of the NHL rumor Gold Standards, posted a statement from Perry’s agent that said Perry is attending to “Personal Matters,” which could mean both of those rumors are true or none are true.

Statement from Perry’s agent Pat Morris:

“Corey Perry has stepped away from the Chicago Blackhawks to attend to personal matters. Corey and his family appreciate privacy at this time.” https://t.co/rkgVA7QMGs

— Pierre LeBrun (@PierreVLeBrun) November 25, 2023

Blackhawks GM Kyle Davidson didn’t do the hockey rumor mill any favors when he made an official statement denying “anything to do with players or they’re families” because we’re weird and we salivate on that generic stuff.

"This does not involve any other players or their family members."

Kyle Davidson clears the rumors on the Corey Perry situation pic.twitter.com/5rxDbhgbS1

— Spittin' Chiclets (@spittinchiclets) November 28, 2023

Almost every sudden departure or silent narrative around a sudden departure of an professional athlete has a “they banged someones wife, mom or sister” narrative to it. It’s boring and fun at the same time but more boring because it’s a stupid go to.

HOWEVER, when the stories are true, they’re kind of awesome for people who feed of salacious banging stories around pro athletes. It’ll be the one time their cave brains were right and when your dumb, there’s nothing more important than running into a fast ball once in a generation.

Unlike hockey Twitter, I’ll wait for Corey Perry to address why. Even then, I don’t really give a shhit because I can’t stand Corey Perry. No one can.

I hope he just goes fishing and never comes back to play another game against the Leafs.

DB