Last week I went to Shoppers Drug Mart. I don’t like myself for it, but I needed to get in for milk and GTFO.

I walked through the Perfume section (as you are forced to do there), grabbed a bag (we do loads in Canada), and went to the person-less (self-help) checkout. For the first time in my adult life, I realized we got fucked.

In my lifetime, I’ve witnessed the greatest scam ever perpetrated on the human species, OTHER than being told weed was a dangerous drug.

Big Grocery eliminated cashiers and bag boys, and now we’re forced to work for Big Grocery if we want to eat.

Remember this?

Or this?

Or maybe you remember this?

Over the past 50 years, Big grocery has downloaded not one but TWO jobs to the shopper. Bag boy and cashier. Gas stations? Whatever. You get it.

Welcome to the wild world of grocery stores, where every penny counts and efficiency is critical. And one of the most significant money-saving innovations in recent years? The fucken Self-checkout kiosks.

You’ve probably seen those little bastards at your local supermarket that let you scan and bag your groceries. And while they may seem convenient for shoppers, make no mistake – these kiosks are a significant cost-saver for the stores.

First and foremost, self-checkout kiosks reduce the need for cashiers. By letting customers make their purchases, stores can reduce the employees they need to pay. And with labor costs being one of the most significant expenses for any retail business, that’s a considerable saving.

Self-checkout kiosks can also help reduce theft and fraud. But the benefits don’t stop there. With traditional checkout lanes, cashiers are responsible for scanning every item and ensuring they’re all accounted for. But with self-checkout, customers are the ones doing the scanning – and they’re less likely to try and cheat the system.

And regarding scanning, self-checkout kiosks can also help stores track their inventory better. By monitoring what items are being scanned and sold, stores can better understand what’s popular and what’s not. And that means they can make more informed decisions about what to stock and how much to order.

Of course, there are some downsides to self-checkout kiosks. For one thing, they can be frustrating for shoppers who aren’t used to using them. And when something goes wrong – like a barcode won’t scan or an item is mislabeled – ten shoppers can simultaneously stand around with their finger in their ass.

That’s when the fights start.  All because Big grocery tricked you into thinking you’d like to be the cashier and bag boy while overpaying for groceries because they know you need to eat to live.

What a scam.

Weed is awesome, by the way.