Under the water.  Fucking guys were good.

Human remains that police believe belong to B.C. fugitives Kam McLeod and Bryer Schmegelsky have been discovered near the Nelson River in northern Manitoba.

Source: At a news conference, the RCMP revealed the remains – which appear to be those of 19-year-old McLeod and 18-year-old Schmegelsky – were found in dense brush near the river Wednesday morning. This discovery was made after items directly linked to the two suspects were found along the river on Friday, allowing RCMP to narrow their search to the area. 

“Over the last two weeks, our officers have worked tirelessly to find the suspects wanted in the homicides in British Columbia … We knew that we needed just to find that one piece of evidence that could move this search forward. On Friday, Aug. 2, that critical one piece of evidence was found: items directly linked to the suspects were located on the shoreline of the Nelson River,” Assistant Commissioner Jane MacLatchy said.

Translation:

The two little pricks drowned and were eaten by various animals during their time on the lam and they’ve probably been dead for some time now.

They clearly found a leg or a head and can verify the fact that they’re deadski.

I think they’re getting too much credit for being outdoorsmen.  A fitting tribute to Kam and Bryer should be an embellished police report detailing their last minutes, including but not limited to the following:

-Tracked for several kilometers by a family of bisexual grizzly bears with bad intentions

• After being forced to mate with each bear they were eaten dick first, and slowly before the bears kicked the shitty parts into the raging Nelson River.

• Bryer and Kam were the worst hide and seek players ever and Northern Manitoba is no joke.

All’s well that ends well and a big fuck you to the guy who ‘saw’ Kam and Bryer in Kapuskasing, Ontario last week.  You totally made that up, bro.