As we get set for an emotional evening in San Jose with Patrick Marleau returning to the Shark Tank after spending 19 seasons circling for blood, the question arose…what if Jumbo Joe signed too?

On July 1st, 2017 the major networks carried on with their 20-hour trade deadline coverage and at one point of the day, there was some talk that not only were the Maple Leafs talking to Patrick Marleau but apparently, they were holding talks with Joe Thornton’s camp as well.

But, would Thornton actually shave his beard? No chance Lou would have it any other way, was that the actual dealbreaker? Could you imagine if it was? Human Rights tribunal, anyone?

From the courts back to the ice and the shitty ice at the ACC for that matter, what if Joe signed on the dotted line and followed Patty to Leafs Nation?

Metaphorical Monday here we come.

This is what could have happened, you can be the judge and play “would you rather?”…

Would you rather have signed Joe Thornton and Patrick Marleau?

Meaning Nazem Kadri would have been shipped out 100%.

Perhaps to Calgary for Dougie Hamilton or TJ Brodie or St Louis for Colton Parayko or even Anaheim for one of their 45 d-men.

Leaving this lineup:

Hyman, Matthews, Nylander

Marleau, Thornton, Brown

JVR, Bozak, Marner

Martin, Leo, Leivo/Kapanen

Reilly Hainsey

Parayko-Brodie / Gardiner

Zaitsev/ Swede – or anyone not named Polak.

Not too shabby if you ask us…

Instead, we sit here and wonder was it because of facial hair, the reason “Jumbo” didn’t follow his longtime teammate to the North. Who knows, but one thing we do know is this team could have been fucking stacked if Joe followed suit. Short term deal, lots of flexibility for the kids’ contracts, and a defense that has less of Roman Polak on it.

Isn’t it fun to think about, what could have been..yeah, for about five minutes?

One thing that is for sure, Patty Marleau’s wife isn’t taking shit….check her clap back after some clown called Marleau out on Twitter for jumping ship for benjamins.

You really think he’d move his 4 kids, wife, & a 19 yr career across the continent 4 more $ when he’s made more than enough? Not.Even.Close

— Christina Marleau (@c_marleau) October 29, 2017

Remember, it’s not always about the money kids, sometimes, it’s about facial hair.

Thanks for stopping by for another edition, remember to stay saucy, keep your drags toey, and always finish cheddar.