You might not be ready for this if you haven’t seen the Tommy and Pam porn.

T-Lee, the legendary drummer from Motley Crue and raconteur, posted a nude selfie, and men have once again been reminded of how inadequate we are.

I’ve seen Mr. Lee’s penis firsthand, btw. More on that in a hot minute.

I’ll give you a few miles of runway to decide if you want to see it or not.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

I spent a night and a day partying with Tommy after he published a single called “Hold me Down.”  he came into the radio station I was at in Toronto, and we had a fucking blast. Easily the best interview I’ve ever been a part of, and I’ve interviewed a small country of people.

(I don’t know why Tommy decided to hide his face posting it from his account, but whatever)

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

We went for boujie steaks, drank Jack Daniels, and went to Church Bar with a gaggle of female Tommy Lee fans. Me, a 28-year-old kid, Tommy Lee, and 10-12 women who ALL wanted to see Tommy naked.

I was partying with Tommy Fucking Lee, and he wanted me to drink with him, almost like I was his only friend. Tommy called me and asked me to spend the day getting geared, so I had to. Still, intimidating AF.

 

As we drank, perched in two highback chairs in a semi-private bar area with onlookers desperately trying to get Tommy’s attention, Tommy leaned into my ear and said, “Bro, gotta piss, come with me.”

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

After security walked us into the bathroom (they kicked everyone else out, which was hilarious), Tommy and I stepped up to the bank of urinals.

“D.  Wanna see it?” Tommy asked, leaning back with a massive grin on his face.”

“I’m good, pal. I’ve seen the movie. Congratulations.” I replied.

“It’s a pretty famous Dick, bro. Probably more famous than me. Look at it!”

I did what anyone partying with Tommy Lee would do when Tommy wants to show you his dick. I looked.

“Fucking legend,” I laughingly mumbled.

“Let’s see yours, bro!”

Without warning, Tommy peeked over the minimal divider.

“Bro, way to go!!” he said. Like when someone congratulates their kid for last place in a school track event.

Twenty-one years later, I still don’t think he meant it.

Why?

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

Ready?

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

He’s 59.

His GF Brittany Furlan loved it. Like me, she’s seen it. She knows.

Tommy’s been making mortal men feel terrible about themselves by osmosis for years. The man honked a boat horn with his boner.

Not something many men can do. But Tommy isn’t many men. I’ve met everyone from Slash to Hulk Hogan, and Tommy is the most personable, happiest, kindest celebrity I’ve ever met.

I’d be happy too with a weapon like that. That’s the difference between happy and angry dudes.

Penis size. I’m convinced of it.

It’s called the Tommy Lee Theory and explains why Jordan Peterson is always so angry.

Good for Tommy. He’s lost all his fucks at 59, and I applaud it.

DB