TRUMP TRIAL: Make a MAGA friend to stave off the Apocalypse

Mar 20, 2023

We are so enamored with ourselves.

I hope to leave you with one overriding thought after you read this stream of consciousness rant; this guy probably doesn’t know what he’s talking about. But he might, and that’s good enough for my sorry ass.

Just do me one favour if you want to tear me a new one, be original. If you are going to try to mount me, make it hurt, kiddo.

One reason why I try my best not to get into the weeds on social media is because I am better at kicking the snot out of people verbally than most of you. It doesn’t play well with friends and strangers alike. People who like to talk shit are rarely any good at it, and they uniformly hate it when the callback is better than their original effort.

Because we are so goddam enamored with ourselves.

We are about to embark on another seemingly endless media loop about the King of the Carnies, the Big Orange Daddy, the Whiny Little Bitch of Mar-a-Lago, Donald Trump. Of course, this means MAGA sheep are about to inundate the interwebs with calls for civil war, sprinkled with their preferred weaponized labels like cuck, libtard, and commies for those of us without a ring of deep orange around our raw, weathered lips.

And before we get too enamored with ourselves, we can be insufferable as well.

The snarky, giddy feeling you might have as we wonder if Trump’s orange jump suit will make him seem naked on camera, is part of the fuel that could turn this otherwise boring case into a national inferno. Already every dummy with a confederate flag and an internet connection have hobbled together their go to response to Trump using campaign funds to hush porn star Stormy Daniels; Clinton got blown by Lewinsky.

No, it doesn’t matter that the two incidents are completely different, as long as Cletus gets his daily hit of I Hate Democrats, the mob is happy.

What would make them ecstatic is if those of you who loathe Trump as much as I do start falling into that trap of polarization, where their position means yours must be the mirrored opposite, even if you haven’t thought of or even heard of the issue they are defending.

In the words of that fish-faced fuck in Star Wars, it’s a trap.

That’s why I am advocating for every non-MAGA person in North America to adopt the following goal over the next 60 days – make one MAGA friend. Sure, some of you dumb fucks will probably be red-pilled in the process, and many of you will flat out refuse after you’ve come to in a puddle of your own vomit, but if just some of you reach out, ignore the spittle on their guffawed faces, and just make one goddam MAGA fuck your friend, that’s one less firearm on the streets of America….maybe!

Point is, you can’t stop a civil war with better insults. Like I say to my 8 year old son whenever he throws down with his 6 year old sister, “Son, there ain’t no victory here. If you walk away, she won’t explode. That’s a win.”

He never listens either. But you should.

This is the exact type of story, an insignificant ticky-tack crime of hiding recreational pussy from the media via campaign finance violations, that could very well serve as the tipping point to whatever form of civil unrest there is to follow.

Think about it. Think about t he times we live in. Think about how absurd everything has been for the past decade. It’s like our world is written by a drunken, David Lynch version of AI. So of course the porn star will usher in the Apocalypse.

But we can fight back against this tidal wave of spray tan, jizz and diet Cokes. How? By listening the fuck up and making a friend with one of them illiterate dipshits. Yes, I know, I am getting it all ouot now, and besides this is my fucking idea so I get a pass on harassing those sloped brows with aviator eye glasses and frizzy beards.


Ok, now I’m good.

See what I mean though? One second you are hatching a plan to save society as we know it, the next minute temporary Tourette’s and a penchant for needless-yet-irretrievably-rewarding name-calling.

But we only bust the balls of the ones we love the most, right? Because we all need to start lovin’ us some MAGA ass.

You want to be enamored, now’s your shot. Go get em.

James Di Fiore

Blackballed isn't just a podcast name, it's a lifestyle for James DiFiore. James has garnered a massive following in the digital space for going against the grain. He says things no one else will.

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