Well, true to his word, Elon started fucking around with people’s “blue checkmarks today – a day after the midterms and I didn’t think it would be this funny.

Please note that Twitter will do lots of dumb things in coming months.

We will keep what works & change what doesn’t.

— Elon Musk (@elonmusk) November 9, 2022

Let’s get started!

Twitter started issuing 8-dollar blue checkmarks today with “Blue Subscription.” Click the actual blue checkmark to tell the difference between loser checkmarks and real ones.

When you do, you get this if it’s a REAL blue checkmark. If it’s a paid blue checkmark…

Now we're just fucking around. pic.twitter.com/wGlBuu92eg

— Dean Blundell🇨🇦 (@ItsDeanBlundell) November 9, 2022

You’ll see THIS.

welcome to the new blue tick Twitter. There are now two blue ticks, so you can tell who’s paying $8 or not 🙃 pic.twitter.com/ALzMSRrztq

— Tom Warren (@tomwarren) November 9, 2022

This is so stupid. It’s genius. Elon makes blue tick-hungry posers pay him $8 for the privilege of posing as a natural blue tick, but when you click the blue tick, it calls that person a total poser.

But it’s ok because you’ll get to post longer videos and do other things they’ll never use.

If it were up to me, we’d dub everyone with a fake blue tick “McLovin.”

Seriously. It’s ridiculous. If I paid for one of these fucking things and didn’t already have one, I’d demand people make fun of me. I wouldn’t leave the fucking house or tweet again. I’d feel like an enormous fraud and assume I was a knob and no one wanted to see my tweets.

Every time I hit send, I would feel like a loser.

If you paid for your relevance, so should you.

I’m not mad. It’s just what we should be doing.

Wassup, “McLovins?”

DB