Pizza Pizza takes a lot of unfair abuse here in Toronto. Yes, it is a Pizza chain. Yes, It’s the biggest in the province. You don’t need to hate them because they’re successful. They make a Great pie depending on the owner of the Pizza Pizza you order from, but they’re huge for a reason.

They make great a Great (BBQ Chicken) Pizza. I’m a friend to almost ANY Pizza joint and appreciate the world’s most versatile pie more than most. Pizza Nova, Station Pizza (Markham), and Regino’s are all GREAT spots, but Pizza Pizza is embracing a new way to dip your pie that needs some attention:

Make all the “tastes like drywall anyway” jokes; I applaud the ingenuity and effort to improve a terrible process.

I’m NOT a Pizza dipper, but may I present the Pizza Pizza “roller” for those of you who are…

This idea should’ve stayed in the boardroom

— Stuntman Stu ❌ (@StuntmanStu) April 15, 2023

Absolutely ridiculous. Fail on @PizzaPizzaLtd more junk for the landfill.
Pizza, ah hem, good pizza…….. should never need dip.

— Greg Cook 🇨🇦🏴󠁧󠁢󠁳󠁣󠁴󠁿 (@GregnKW) April 14, 2023

WHOOOAAAAHH, Pizza Pizza dippers – let’s not get too agro. As you can see, the Pizza Pizza Roller judiciously spreads your choice of dip evenly over the entire slice. No more trying to dip a 7-inch piece of Pizza into a two-inch wide dipping cup, jalapeno cheddar, or garlic ranch. Pizza Pizza is offering you a road to full dip coverage preventing double dipping and needing a fucking protractor to dip halfway through a slice.

If You Dip, You Don’t Like Pizza

That’s why I never dip.

I like Pizza. A lot. Cauliflower crust, whole wheat, stuffed crust – bring it all to me on any night. It’s the perfect meal, and fucking around with toppings is my jam. The dip removes the reason to order Pizza, and I’d suggest greasy dippers are not Pizza people. You’re Dip people. There’s a difference.

Dip people are weird. Some Dip people won’t eat a pizza without dip, which is sheer lunacy. If you want jalapeno/cheese-flavored Pizza, get jalapenos and cheese on your Pizza. Only a moron covers the taste of a Philly Cheesesteak pizza with Jalapeno Cheddar sauce or ranch dressing.

IMO, the only acceptable Pizza to dip? Pepperoni – the NPC of Pizzas. Maybe Hawaiian. Even then, I wouldn’t do it. It defeats the purpose of putting ketchup on a steak.

If you dip, don’t hate Pizza Pizza because they want to make your life easier and tastier. It’s terrible form.

Any Pizza Inquiries? [email protected]. You’re welcome.