This is what depression looked like to us just 36 hrs b4 his death. He loved us SO much & we loved him. #fuckdepression #MakeChesterProud pic.twitter.com/VW44eOER4k

— Talinda Bennington (@TalindaB) September 16, 2017

This video is the exact reason depression is called the silent killer. Anytime someone takes their own life you automatically assume they’ve been publicly and privately miserable for a very long time.

In this video, Chester Bennington is doing something I’ve done with my kids. You take those jelly beans, and you figure out whether or not the taste is rotten egg or watermelon. He looks like he’s having fun but inside you have no idea how he feels.

The problem with depression is no matter how much you talk about it and no no matter how much medication you take there’s something inside you that can be activated by certain substances you might have relied on in the past as medication. In this case, Chester’s medication was apparently alcohol. There was a half drank bottle of liquor at the scene where he passed away, and you have to have alcohol issues to understand the mind of an alcoholic.

If you are an alcoholic, you know that the easiest way to feel better is to drink and when you’re coming down the easiest way to feel better is to drink. When you’re hungover the easiest way to feel better is to drink. When you’re anxious the easiest way to feel better is to drink. When you’re nervous the easiest way to feel better is to drink.

However, the crushing shame and depression after you’ve put the bottle down might be the worst feeling in the entire world.

I can’t speak to what Chester was thinking or feeling, but this video is a great lesson for people who don’t suffer from depression or addiction to open their eyes to people around them who might be suffering from it.

If you need help talk to someone and if you need professional help, go and see someone. It might be the bravest thing you do today.