American churches fucken RULE.
Watch pastor dipshit try to save souls from eternal damnation with a……venomous snake!!
(Graphic)

Peep the faces of the horrified parishioners. SOOOOO GOOOOOD.

God (if he existed) pays debts without money, and I like that about the big guy. I don’t know if the big man is dead or alive, and it doesn’t matter. What matters?

Christians are fucking weird. These are, anyway.

I had a deep exchange with one who was praying for my soul before telling me I was PROBABLY going to spend the next 10k years burning in hell after I applauded the “Hail Satan” kid for counter-protesting against religious zealots in Peterborough this weekend.

It must be incredible that you have a four-bedroom condo in the afterlife if you pray the sinner’s prayer. It’s cool because it means they treat people on earth like shit. After all, their ultimate goal is to die and go to heaven, which explains why none of these weiners got vaccinated or wore masks. They want to fail so they can get off this secular ride.

But before they go, they have to put on shows with venomous snakes, too, so you’ll put money in the offering basket when it makes its way past you during Sunday service.

Ah well. To each their own, I guess.