This is the first time I’ve seen a Walrus rub one out too.

A Walrus getting lost, ending up in Scarborough and then masturbating IN PUBLIC then having a sleep and then Scarborough Council cancelling the NYE fireworks display in case it woke him is the denouement of 2022. pic.twitter.com/LzCXZnasiy

— Pastor Alex (@PastorAlexLove) December 31, 2022

Source: A wandering walrus has delighted locals and tourists after appearing in a North Yorkshire seaside town.

The marine mammal arrived in Scarborough on Friday night and has drawn huge crowds to the harbour on New Year’s Eve.

The Arctic walrus is believed to be Thor – the same animal that was spotted on the Hampshire coastline earlier this month.

Local wildlife experts have asked people not to disturb the creature, saying he appears to be “taking a break” in Scarborough and will move on in a few days once he is rested enough to continue his journey north.

The town council decided on Saturday to postpone a New Year’s Eve firework display to avoid distressing Thor.

A spokesperson for Scarborough borough council said: “We have taken the decision to cancel tonight’s New Year’s Eve fireworks display on the advice of British Divers Marine Life Rescue, because of the arrival of the walrus Thor in the harbour. There are concerns that the display could cause distress to the mammal.”

Council leader Steve Siddons said: “We are really disappointed that we’ve had to cancel the fireworks but the welfare of the walrus has to take precedence.”

“Folks – we’re canceling the NYE fireworks display for tonight city because we need to let Thor the masturbating Walrus have his private time, and we don’t want to interrupt his glorious masturbating.”

Come on. Grab a few guys and a couple of brooms. I get allowing nature to take its course but canceling NYE fireworks for a whole city because you don’t want to bother a masturbating Walrus seems a little ridiculous to me.

https://twitter.com/TreasChest/status/1609538548692144128?s=20&t=iiIDRNxCRSLMKxDrVJRUHw

I'd want to rub one out if I was lost and stressed in that situation. Probably hold the urge until I was off the beach, but…

— En'ki (@EnkiReed) January 1, 2023

They never cancelled the fireworks for me when i did that. wtf?

— Dr. Nick @[email protected] (@NM_Wilkinson) January 1, 2023

And some of the media were still reporting that they weren't sure whether the Walrus was male or female…🤔

— Katthryn Egan 🐦 (@Katthryn_Egan) January 1, 2023

To answer Katthryn, Thor is indeed a male. That’s the most significant sea hog I’ve ever seen, too. I love how he covered it up out of post-masturbation guilt like he suddenly realized people we are recording him hive his walrus dinger a yank.

Scarborough, England’s fireworks budget? $1.5 million. Now THAT’S an expensive wank.