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Video: The Freedumb Convoy’s Lawyer Is Fucking Hilarious

Jan 1, 1970

I didn’t know you could retain legal counsel on WISH.com until the EA hearings started this week.

Brendan Miller has been the lead counsel for the newly minted “Freedom Corp” (yeah, they’re cooperation now, don’t you know). Besides wearing the same ill-fitting blazer daily, he’s made every lawyer I know LOL for the past week.

It started with Brendan’s opening statement (he’s a RW JCCF Lawyer) saying his clients (the Freedumb Convoy) did nothing wrong and nothing anyone in Ottawa experienced was illegal, caused harm, or rose to the level where police to intercede thanks to the Emergency Act.

He was then fed a series of embarrassments, like when he cross-examined Zexi Li and wanted to talk about movies.

Or that time, he rounded down convoy-related charges to 13 from 400.

Or that time, Brendo got owned by a bilingual witness who calmy made Brendan’s combover have a seizure when he pointed out translation services work both ways in perfect English.

Or when Mayor Jim Watson, an expert on Municipal policing, informed Brendan that Mayors couldn’t co-opt police services from other jurisdictions to do his bidding.

I don’t know what I love about Brendan Miller more: His selection of mysterious combovers, the fact he won’t take off that blazer, OR his flipping through his dollar store notebook every time he gets something wrong.

I spoke with a few Lawyers we work with, and these were some comments about Brendo’s performance so far.

“I feel sorry for him.”

“This is what you get when you order legal representation from WISH.com”

“I hope his other clients aren’t watching, provided he has other clients.”

“Convoy Lawyers know how much money the Freedumb Convoy has too.”

“Truly pathetic Lawyering. Very little prep – looks lost, can’t get over the notebook page flipping.”

Brendan is an Alberta Lawyer hired by Freedumb Corp’s lead attorney Keith Wilson. Last week, Keith blamed the people of Ottawa for the Convoy, and almost every one of his clients has been arrested or spent a considerable amount of time in jail thanks to the solid legal advice he and Brendan have given them over the past two years.

Tammy Lich.

Pat King.

Chris Barber.

ETC, ETC, ETC.

Freedom Corps lawyers know these twats raised $10 million TWICE and learn how to get it. Whether Brendan, Keith, or any of Freedumb Corp’s lawyers believe that a few thousand people should be able to use kids as human shields at border crossings remains to be seen. They are, however, keenly aware of the 3.2 million in frozen funds, and when lawyers need money, they chase ambulances. Or Freedumb Convoys with millions in frozen cash and ambulance-chasing lawyers chase ambulances because they probably aren’t very good at being a lawyer.

Still, it’s a pleasure to watch Brendan’s “Lawyering.” Primarily when you work with good lawyers to text you all day saying, “You gotta turn on the hearing; Brendan’s up again!”

That’s ok, though. I’m sure there’s money at the end of the convoy rainbow. There better be. Billable hours don’t pay themselves, right Brendo!!?

DB

 

 

Dean Blundell

Dean Blundell is a Canadian radio personality. Best known as a longtime morning host on CFNY-FM (The Edge) in Toronto, Ontario. In 2015 he was named the new morning host on sports radio station CJCL (Sportsnet 590 The Fan). Dean started his career in radio in 2001 and for nearly 20 years been entertaining the radio audience. Dean’s newest venture is the launch of his site and podcast which is gaining tremendous momentum across North America.

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