Wanted: Grizzly Bear Conflict Manager…a very real job.

Joe Williamson Mar 4, 2022

Sometimes you read a job title and you think, “I wonder what that is?” So click on a link to learn a little bit more about the job. Othertimes your job title is “Grizzly Bear Conflict Manager”.

I’ll give credit to an eagle eyed viewer @dawglovers who tagged me in this job posting because, let’s be honest, it’s fucking insane and should be shared with the world. The title seems to imply that by just sitting down with the bear you can de-escalate the situation to find an agreeable outcome for all parties. In reality, you’re probably just going to be deciding where to hide the bear body.

However, should this role pique your interest some of the duties and responsibilites of a Grizzly Bear Conflict Manager include but are not limited to: The Grizzly Bear Conflict Manager is responsible for coordinating grizzly bear conflict management in MT, WY, ID, and WA. These efforts include making final relocation and removal decisions, in consultation with Recovery Coordinator, and coordinating a ground response such as relocation, trapping operations, conflict prevention, and monitoring bears. While it doesn’t explicity say it, balls of steel the size of grapefruits is probably a helpful requirement.

So if you are on the lookout for a job and have always wanted to channel your inner Homer Simpson, this might be the role for you. APPLY TODAY!

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Joe Williamson

Bald Canadian who didn’t play hockey until he was in his mid-thirties. Die hard Raptors fan who proudly admits he wept when they won it all. Loves talking parenting, politics, and all things pop culture.

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