Source: A 51-year-old Thai woman was recently sent to hospital complaining of vaginal pain because she had a cucumber stuck in her ‘lady parts’.

She told hospital staff that she ‘fell’ on the cucumber. She says she fell down in her house and a cucumber just happened to be on the spot she fell and it “simply slipped inside her”.

“It was just an accident.”

They reported that the hospital staff didn’t believe her story but helped rescue the cucumber and relieve the woman of her apparently unplanned discomfort.

It happens.  51-year-old women look at Old English cukes differently than men do.  We see food, they see an opportunity to cure some loneliness.  Where we might see a Greek Salad ingredient, a lonely woman may see a disposable partner rich in potassium and fiber.

I used to think cucumbers were a useless veggie but in posting this story, I realize Cucumbers aren’t the veggie bastards I once thought they were.  Seems like a nutritional shame she fed it to her genitals.

How about the Dr. in the OR sending his friends a photo for shits and giggles:

While he’s sending a “Holy fuck (insert names of a friend), get a load of this lady’s cucumber stuff job! LOL!”  the rest of the staff are looking at the patient’s crotch trying to do the math in disbelief.

I especially like the nurse in the green.  She appears to be thoroughly confused and somewhat standoffish in helping them retrieve the item.

Protip:

Never put something inside yourself without a base.

You’re welcome.