Woman Falls Head-First Into Outhouse Trying to Rescue Her Phone

Joe Williamson Apr 24, 2022

A woman who accidentally dropped her cellphone into the hole of an outhouse in a national forest and fell in (headfirst) while trying to retrieve it had to be rescued by firefighters in Washington state. (AP)

We’ve all dropped our phones in the toilet, it’s a universal moment in our modern day lives. Most of us are relieved that the worst thing our phone has been exposed to is some urine and we releuctantly fish it out and then we vigoursly wash our hands and leave the phone in some rice to dry out. None of us have experienced the horrors that this woman has gone through.

Imagine falling head first into an outhouse. I don’t like to open my eyes when I need to use one because I’m affraid I might make eye contact with that giant opening.

Her situation got me thinking of all the things I’d rather have happen to me than fall head first into an outhouse and the answer is death. I’d rather die than experience that moment.

If my phone fell in an outhouse, that cellphone is gone. Call me a bad father, but if my kid fell in the outhouse, that kid is gone. I hope a nice family who is okay with a shit soaked child finds them.

The kicker is this:

She was washed down and “strongly encouraged to seek medical attention after being exposed to human waste, but she only wanted to leave,” the department said.

Her embarassment was so severe she didn’t even stick around for medical attention. And even if she does go to an ER, how does she polietly described that to the triage nurse? “Umm…I had an accidental bath in excrement?” That’s going to lead to a hell of a lot of follow-up questions that nobody would want to answer.

The morale of the story is we have a phone addiction and some of us just have to hit rock-bottom to realize it, and for one woman in Washtington, rock-bottom was a real shitty situation.

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Joe Williamson

Bald Canadian who didn’t play hockey until he was in his mid-thirties. Die hard Raptors fan who proudly admits he wept when they won it all. Loves talking parenting, politics, and all things pop culture.

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