WWE held its annual Wrestlemania this weekend and it was Incredible! It gave me an idea! What would be my WRESTLEMANIA dream card? Let’s pretend I could bring any wrestler (person) back in their prime and put together the ULTIMATE WRESTLEMANIA card.
Wow, the possibilities right?! Let’s rock!
National Anthem performed by EDDIE and WOLFGANG VAN HALEN. If I need to explain why, stop reading and go back to listening to your Imagine Dragons albums.
Match #1: Dean Malenko vs Chris Benoit.
Yep, right off the start I’m going there. The rabid Wolverine. The unmentionable. The erased conspiracy of wrestling.
The “man of 1000 holds” is legendary for kicking off WCW pay per views vs the “Canadian Crippler” that could set the pace of the evening.
Solid wrestling, high-energy moves, and a tight finish. extra high jinks from Eddie G!
Your Winner: CHRIS BENOIT with submission after a marathon of wrestling goodness.
Match #2: Rhea Ripley vs China.
Oh hell ya! Keep the intensity rolling my friends!
Possibly the two most powerful women in WWE Wrestling history. These amazing ladies have been recently compared so let’s get it done.
Your Winner: I’m giving the win to Rhea via pinfall with help from her little boy DOM MYSTERIO.
Match #3: RVD vs Ricky the Dragon Steamboat for the TV TITLE.
Oh c’mon! There is absolutely nothing stale about this fight. Action upon action with spins and flips landed with precision and tacked!
Two of the best in-ring karate-influenced wrestlers ever.
Your Winner: RVD gets the pinfall after 3 consecutive frog splashes.
Match #4: The Hart Foundation vs The Road Warriors for the Smackdown TAG TEAM TITLES.
This is kinda selfish, my two favorite tag teams going at it on the big stage. Technique vs brutality. Slick vs knarly. Style vs brutality.
I want Jimmy Hart and Paul Ellering as respected managers. Chaos my friends!
Your Winner: The Road Warriors by pinfall. Some double-team shenanigans give The Road Warriors the belts.
Match #5: The Honkey Tonk Man vs The Miz for the INTERCONTINENTAL TITLE.
Add Jimmy Hart and the Miz’s wife, and wait for hilarity to ensue. This would be a great “comedy match” with two of the best.
Your Winner: The Miz wins by pinfall as his wife distracts Honky Tonk with her….. assets.
Match #6: Charlotte Flair vs Hikaru Shida for the Smackdown WOMEN’S TITLE.
These are two modern-day wrestlers but from different factions.
WWE vs AEW. It had to happen, at least on this list. What an indescribable battle this would be, two wrestling workhorses.
One from royalty and one from the Orient. Old vs new.
Your Winner: Hikaru Shida wins by pinfall after a valiant Charlotte Flair passes on the torch with respect.
Match #7: The Ultimate Warrior vs Sting for the Smackdown HEAVYWEIGHT TITLE.
Those of you as old as myself, or who are privy to wrestling history will recognize the meaningfulness of this match.
These dudes started out together in tag teams such as The Blade Runners and as far as I know, have never crossed paths since.
Icons with wrestling history, are neat.
You Winner: The Ultimate Warrior wins by pinfall because the Warrior most likely wouldn’t agree to the match if he is not the winner.
Next up: Day two of my dream WRESTLEMANIA card, Dontcha dare miss it!