Ottawa Is Appointing A “Nightlife Czar” To Convince The World To Party In The Most Boring City In The World. Good Luck With ALL That…

Nov 15, 2023

WSJ: Canada’s capital wants to shed its image as a party pooper. 

Canadians know Ottawa as the home of government, where roughly a quarter of the metropolitan area’s 1.5 million residents work in the public sector. They also know Ottawa, fairly or not, as “the city that fun forgot,” a moniker penned over four decades ago by the late Canadian political commentator and satirist Allan Fotheringham. The label has stuck. YouTube celebrities have traveled here to document whether Ottawa is as drab as advertised.

Municipal leaders want to turn that image around. Ottawa is looking to hire someone to preside over the city’s nightlife. The job title is still to be determined, with officials tossing around ideas such as night mayor, nightlife commissioner or night czar.

Some Ottawa-area residents say that person has their work cut out for them. 

“If the average person comes to visit Ottawa, they’ll just ask, ‘Where are all the people?’” said Amen Jafri, a federal government employee and a documentary filmmaker. Her first project, released nearly a decade ago, focused on why Ottawa lacked verve. The title: “The City That Fun Forgot?”

The Wall Street Journal’s hit piece on Ottawa is accurate AF.

Back when I used to love getting lost in the sauce, my ex-wife’s family lived in Ottawa. We’d have to visit twice a year, and it sucked all the balls.

Ottawa is a political city chock-full of lobbyists, economists, and politicians who are there to do the bidding of their executive relationships. If you haven’t met or partied with a lobbyist, economist, or Politician who calls Ottawa home, you haven’t lived. They are transactional people living in a transactional city that has more secrets than the Catholic church. Reputation is everything in Ottawa, and the Ottawa elites don’t Party like Rob Ford used to before he died of fat cancer. These dorks tend to get hammered and socialize in private homes, ballrooms, and private clubs like the National Club, so there’s no real nightlife in the nation’s capital.

Other than Byward Market, there’s no downtown core or row of bars or killer restaurants like Electic Ave in Calgary or the Entertainment District in Toronto. It’s a bedroom capital like DC, but it’s way more boring, and that’s saying something, considering every lawyer in Ottawa (maybe 6) is a massive cokehead.

I don’t know this new Czar, but trying to convince people to party in the most BORING city in North America will be a tough sell. Unless they can lure all those trailer park convoyers back to Ottawa with CERB and some free smokes, it will always be “the town the fun forgot.”


PS: I refused to go to Ottawa 5 years into my Marriage. Her family was cool. She wasn’t, and neither was the city unless I counted eating beaver tails in minus 30 weather before going to bed at 8 pm with someone who made me physically ill, “cool.”

Good luck, Ottawa. If you’re visiting and need coke, look up Lawyer James Bowie. He might be able to point you in the right direction.

Dean Blundell

Dean Blundell is a Canadian radio personality. Best known as a longtime morning host on CFNY-FM (The Edge) in Toronto, Ontario. In 2015 he was named the new morning host on sports radio station CJCL (Sportsnet 590 The Fan). Dean started his career in radio in 2001 and for nearly 20 years been entertaining the radio audience. Dean’s newest venture is the launch of his site and podcast which is gaining tremendous momentum across North America.

Related stories