I legitimately had no idea. From what I have gathered (in the 12 minutes I’ve spent reading about Canada’s traveling unemployment brigade), it rained A LOT; they didn’t have enough muffins. Someone named Jane ran someone over, and no one can agree on a plan for Ottawa or Toronto or what the actual fucking point is.

And Jesus, kids, Trudeau, and a few MPs need to get kidnapped. Or something. I wasn’t paying attention because I, like everyone else, don’t give a single shit anymore, but these guys are fucking hilarious.

Sometimes they make it too easy for us… pic.twitter.com/11jz6gAZUE

— JR – Big Gay Giraffe 🏳️‍🌈🏳️‍⚧️🖖🏻 (@jamierosscgy) October 3, 2023

From my understanding, THIS convoy was supposed to be a two-pronged (maybe three) pronged approach.

1. Go to Ottawa to hang some MPs with 3 million angry Canadians before invading Toronto.
2. Save The Children
3. Get drunk and fuck

They accomplished #3 because they never accomplished #1 or #2, which is standard fare in the mentally unwell professional victim community.

My friend Lisa’s 10-minute wrap of the wandering idiot parade is terrific if you have 10 minutes.

“So there’s a bunch of yokals that apparently want to ‘save’ the children….” 👇👇👇video credit @Lisab09231 👇👇#protecttransyouth #PierrePoilievre #TransRightsAreHumanRights #LGBTQIA #2slgbtqia #MillionMarchRound2 #thanksgiving2023 #ThanksgivingWeekend #FreedomConvoy… pic.twitter.com/d3V91ofjBK

— Bev (@Garnet_2203) October 8, 2023

Fuck we have some dumb people in this Country. These are the trash that #PierrePoilievre is pandering to. Unbelievable. Save the children, my ass. These people shouldn't be around children. #FreedomConvoy https://t.co/nvwP83CO8T

— Paranoid Humanoid (@DRodbone) October 3, 2023

Note the Russian car flag on one of the #FreedomConvoy’s cars in this INCREDIBLY professional and highly informative live stream from “Waylon,” who might need an Ativan or two.

Waylon Sherk just stated on a live that the "Freedom Convoy" that is not a convoy is headed to OTTAWA. This is different than the Toronto plans heard earlier. #savethechildrenconvoy #freedomconvoy #eastmeetswestconvoy #freedomconvoy2023 #ottawa #waylonsherk pic.twitter.com/1umiHmTQ30

— TikTok Scientist (@TiktokScientist) October 1, 2023

Other notable moments from this week’s invisible redneck groomer fest? Ron Clark has to pee…

We have received the first test transmission from the secret spy camera installed in Ron Clark's truck. Apparently he is suffering from bladder issues. We will continue to monitor the vehicle for insights into this #SavetheChildren convoy.#ronclark #freedomconvoy #antifa pic.twitter.com/AKuUQnHbFr

— TikTok Scientist (@TiktokScientist) September 26, 2023

…Freedom George seems to be looking to make “friends” with young kids and is having no luck (stranger danger, kids)…

Is it just me, or did Freedom George just say that he is talking to adolescents and trying to get them to come hang out with a bunch of adults, many of which have criminal records?#freedomgeorge #convoywatch #ottawa #savethechildren #freedomconvoy pic.twitter.com/zcs9dFKlHE

— TikTok Scientist (@TiktokScientist) October 8, 2023

Oh, and George is out of coffee and needs someone to bring them one…

AND someone spray-painted Jane’s phone after kicking her out of “The Camp.” LOL.

After Jane Scharf was run off the lot of the #savethechildren convoy, someone decided to come up and spray paint her phone to stop her recording/streaming. It didn't work.#janescharf #freedomconvoy #ronclark #chrisdacey #colinbigbearross #freedomgeorge #stand4thee pic.twitter.com/ZzgeecU548

— TikTok Scientist (@TiktokScientist) October 2, 2023

OH, and Vee’s car needs repairs.

View of the damage to what I believe Vee Ghandi's car after someone jumped on his hood and started pounding on the windshield. One guy claims the man fell on his windshield, but he hopped onto the hood and started punching.#savethechildren #convoy #freedomfighters #stand4tee pic.twitter.com/FGlqyw41z8

— TikTok Scientist (@TiktokScientist) October 3, 2023

Watching these videos gives me a similar feeling to when I flush the toilet, where remnants and a skidmark are left behind.

Remnants and skid marks. Unemployed, mentally and emotionally unwell remnants and skid marks. That’s what we have here. The glory days are gone, and these dorks STILL don’t have gigs, so this is just another encore in their larpy fantasy land.

Why bother spending Thanksgiving in a warm house with family when you can hit the road with 30 of your dumbest internet jihadi pals while sniffing glue in derelict parking lots in freezing temps? Right?

Oh well. There’s always next month. Groomers.