2023 sucked a little less today with the launch of Kim Kardashian’s new SKIMS “Ultimate Nipple Bra” – with built-in nipples.

Take yourself away from culture and physical wars. Watch the launch video and familiarize yourself with her latest optical illusion, which I don’t hate.

COMING OCT 31: THE @SKIMS ULTIMATE NIPPLE BRA. Perfect fullness with a built-in, faux nipple for shock factor – meet the newest innovation to our Ultimate Bra collection on Tuesday, October 31 at 9AM PT / 12PM ET. Join the waitlist for early access to shop.

In addition to our… pic.twitter.com/PTrugEEN4T

— Kim Kardashian (@KimKardashian) October 27, 2023

Kim’s socially conscious, too. She’s donating 10% of all ULTIMATE NIPPLE BRA sales to environmentally stable businesses— nipples for a better world.

I was always under the impression women went to great lengths to hide their nipples, but Kim has once again turned the tables on conventional nipple thinking.  She’s playing 3D nipple chess while evangelical America Clutches its pearls.

Sexual empowerment is feminist to the core, and nipples are a universal rallying cry in the secular effort to “Make Indecency Great Again.” Revolutions start with a tiny act of courage, and there’s nothing more courageous in today’s society than forcing the nipple issue at a time when Christo-Fascists want to control what a woman chooses to do with her body.

Kim’s a thought leader in the fight for women’s freedom to do whatever the fuck they want, and she’s had a world-class set for decades, so I’m all about the ULTIMATE NIPPLE BRA for more than base reasons. Those base reasons still exist, so give me a minute.  I’ll be right back.

Maybe