Remember The Conjoined Twins, Brittany & Abby Hansel? She/They Got Married And I Have A Few Questions…

Mar 30, 2024

I’m old enough to remember when Brittany and Abby were born, and it was a total miracle/mindfuck trying to understand how they “work.”

The 34-year-old(s) married John Bowling, army vet, and current nurse, three years ago, and we’re only finding out now, and I have a MILLION questions. Mostly sexual.

As a teenager, I wondered if the Hansel twins pooped if they had two stomachs.

If one of them eats, is the other one hungry?

How do they decide whose plans take precedence? Maybe Brit wants to dance, but Abby’s leg is too tired. Then what?

But the OVERWHELMING QUESTION I had then is being answered now, but it’s leading to more questions.

And I’m not alone.

The ladies share those parts as outlined in the shitty rendering explaining how their internal organs work—further complicating things? Brittany is gay.

Doesn’t Brittany need to drop acid before Abby and John get into it?

With rumors that they are pregnant, are they both considered the mother on the child’s birth certificate?

Does John have to put up with Brittany’s shit too?

When John’s out for a night on the town, does he text Brittany to make sure Abby’s not pissed off because this is the 3rd night in a row for “fantasy baseball?” Does John crack threesome jokes at “fantasy baseball?”

When John and Abby get after it, are there rules for Brittany? Is she allowed to talk? Does she feel everything like Abby does? It stands to reason that she does according to the way they work. As a lesbian, is that fucking weird?

Abby and Brittany are amazing. Let’s not confuse my (and everyone else’s) curiosity about how all that shit works with the notion the Hansel Twins aren’t the most courageous conjoined twins you’ll ever see.

And let’s give it to John. He, Really, Really, Really, Really, Really, Really, Really loves Abby, or he’s living his kink.

Either way, they all win.


Dean Blundell

Dean Blundell is a Canadian radio personality. Best known as a longtime morning host on CFNY-FM (The Edge) in Toronto, Ontario. In 2015 he was named the new morning host on sports radio station CJCL (Sportsnet 590 The Fan). Dean started his career in radio in 2001 and for nearly 20 years been entertaining the radio audience. Dean’s newest venture is the launch of his site and podcast which is gaining tremendous momentum across North America.

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